Adult Disney Woman
Adult Disney Woman

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We all know one. LYRICS: She goes to the parks several times a year She owns multiple varieties of Mickey Mouse ears She’s ridden Big Thunder 900 hundred times She always gets a fast pass to bypass the lines Where does she get money to do this? She should be broke by now! But she’s unbothered by your judgements of her way of life She’s eating massive turkey legs in Chip n Dale's Treehouse She’s always plans to be there for several days She swears that it’s a lifestyle, it’s not a phase Cast members know her face and she knows all their names She’s an Adult Disney Woman She’s got a huge tattoo of Moana on her hip Knows every Jungle Cruise ride joke and quip One day her wedding will be "Little Mermaid" Theme And the groom is just gonna have to be okay with that She’s cultured thanks to EPCOT She’s always DisneyBound She’s first in line at the Rope Drop And stays for every second of the Magic Hours She’s got a reservation at Club 33 It’s not for a decade, she waits patiently But for an earlier slot, she’d kill her family She’s an Adult Disney Woman "Please stand clear of the doors." "Please stand clear of the doors." "Please stand clear of the doors." "Por favor, manténgase alejado de las puertas." You might call it obsessive She calls it living her truth She knows the lyrics to every Alan Menken song And considers Dole Whip to be a perfect food When it’s time to leave she gets too depressed Like "Beauty and the Beast," she wants to be their guest Maybe she should start seeing a therapist? She’s an Adult Disney Woman (Twitter and Insta: @mynameisntdave)