Should You Be Monogamous?

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Monogamy is the gold standard, but is it best? When Millennials Try Environmentalism: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piinC82Zi1M Subscribe for more science! http://bit.ly/asapsci Created by: Mitchell Moffit and Gregory Brown Written by: Rachel Salt, Greg Brown, & Mitch Moffit Illustrated by: Max Simmons Edited by: Sel Ghebrehiwot FOLLOW US! Instagram and Twitter: @whalewatchmeplz and @mitchellmoffit Clickable: http://bit.ly/16F1jeC and http://bit.ly/15J7ube AsapINSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/asapscience/ Snapchat: realasapscience Facebook: http://facebook.com/AsapSCIENCE Twitter: http://twitter.com/AsapSCIENCE Tumblr: http://asapscience.tumblr.com SNAPCHAT US 'whalewatchmeplz' and 'pixelmitch' Created by Mitchell Moffit (twitter @mitchellmoffit) and Gregory Brown (twitter @whalewatchmeplz). Send us stuff! ASAPSCIENCE INC. P.O. Box 93, Toronto P Toronto, ON, M5S2S6 Further Reading -- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2930788/ Does fertility trump monogamy? https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/photo-ark/pictures/monogamous-animals/ 10 amorous animals that mate for life http://rstb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/367/1589/657 The puzzle of monogamous marriage https://www.nature.com/articles/ncomms11219 Disease dynamics and costly punishment can foster socially imposed monogamy http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1530-2415.2012.01286.x/abstract The Fewer the Merrier?: Assessing Stigma Surrounding Consensually Non-monogamous Romantic Relationships https://experts.umich.edu/en/publications/investigation-of-consensually-nonmonogamous-relationships-theorie Investigation of Consensually Nonmonogamous Relationships: Theories, Methods, and New Directions http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0177841 Perceptions of primary and secondary relationships in polyamory https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26116890 Re-examining the effectiveness of monogamy as an STI-preventive strategy. http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14616660500335391 Sex differences and similarities in preferred mating arrangements http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2016.1252308?scroll=top&needAccess=true Caught in a “Bad Romance”? Reconsidering the Negative Association Between Sociosexuality and Relationship Functioning http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/0092623X.2016.1178675 Prevalence of Experiences With Consensual Nonmonogamous Relationships: Findings From Two National Samples of Single Americans https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886917306311 Swiping right: Sociosexuality, intentions to engage in infidelity, and infidelity experiences on Tinder Is Monogamy Best? Is monogamy wrong Monogamy vs. Poly What is Polyamory Swinging Open Relationship Is Monogamy Natural what is non-monogamy is non-monogamy wrong STI Risk Why are we monogamous? Most animals are not monogamous Do most people cheat why do people cheat is poly a choice is monogamy a choice cheating husbands cheating wives cheating girlfriends cheating boyfriends history of human mating tinder swipe right are poly relationships healthy casual sex

Comments from Youtube

Bryan Márquez : As long as it’s consensual, legal and doesn’t hurt anyone do whatever the hell you want.

opelgtman73 : 1:47 I don't remember standing in the back for that picture, weird.

sergio recinos : My other half? Oh, you mean my other 1/5

Kid Jay : This is not making my Valentines Day loneliness any better...

Peacecraft117 : You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals. So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

Alex : I'll stick with being alone.

stuff4ever : I barely have time for myself.. imagine a bunch of other people.

Bittersweet : Props to anyone that has a non-monogamous relationship. I’ve read about it in the past and considered it before, but the thought of someone else getting intimate and all close and personal with my boo makes me uncomfortable.

YoAntoNeo : Based on the comments, it looks like people are confused between polyamorous vs polygamy: Polyamorous -means dating different people at the same time, via romantic/sexual aspects. But there's honest and open communication by all parties; consent. Polygamy- is more of a religious/cult thing of usually a man having many wives.

Patrylec : - Let's bang someone else! - *YASSSSSSSSS!*

Ethan Manning : I’m not religious at all, but something about non-monogamy just feels wrong. It feels like betrayal. Monogamy means stronger love for your partner. Commitment is deep

Kikematamitos : Forgot the love.

ruoweii : people really can't grasp the concept of informative videos can they

Nigel : I believe that love is far more likely in a monogamous relationship than a non-monogamous relationship. Non-monogamous relationships seem to be more about lust.

Stefania Welvaert : You do you that's all I have to say. Not everyone has the same needs

Alex Boroleanu : I don't ralate , my valentine is goona' be a bag of chips....

Unyt : Jokes on you. I don't got relation.. Ships... ;-;

Cadenthecapybara : My best friend is polyamorous, and it doesn't bug me a bit. I don't think I could be, but I'm glad she's being herself and doing what's best for her! As long as people are honest and open with their partner(s) and everyone's a consenting adult, I don't see any problem.

The SWAT Team : Back in the day we had to make more humans. Now we have plenty so 1 partner is plenty. I'm not going anymore in depth on this because I feel like I could write a commentary.

Xalxitz : Actually the most important factor of why Humans practice monogamy is the fact that pregnant and child-caring women are pretty much "disabled" in a sense. They cannot survive on their own. That's the reason why woman want a man, who can take care of them during those years. Also keep in mind, back then there were no real ways to abort the baby or prevent pregnancy, so the woman spend her entire fertile years constantly pregnant or taking care of children. So I would disagree with your choice of words that "historically humans didn't practice monogamy" just because a man is married to more than one woman. That was actually a common way to take care of single women, who otherwise wouldn't have been able to find a mate. Even the old testament talks about a brother having to marry the widowed wife of his brother to take care of her. It wasn't an "everyone fucks everyone polygamy". Anyway even today women get maternity leave, because as a society we recgonize that a pregnant of child-caring woman simply isn't as economically competetitive as a single woman. That's the number one reason for monogamy. You can also really see how we are a civilization in decline by just speculating about the severe soceity-destroying aspects of giving women the possibility to just not have a man and lettign the state take care of her. Single motherhood is at an all-time high. Letting a woman also be seperate and independent of her husband, but still dependent on his money is also very damaging and a complete reversal of the conditions that led to humans practicing monogamy. I hope we can learn, before the consequences of our actions catch up to us.

BluBerri Muffins : This actually helped me realize I'm more comfortable being non-monogamous

cathy2000 : More spouses = more divorces

Homo Sapien : That heart linking diagram at 3:05 💙💚💜💛

Isaac Sarfo : Dude I love how all of your vids are so informative you guys are awesome

Wilfredo Ayala : Nah I'm good, I don't want to be with a cum depository. This normalizing of cuckolding is getting crazy. I rather be monogamous, anything else sounds unstable to me.

Eli Anto : Interesting information. I don't think using college students is the best place to be asking about monogamous relationships. Perhaps investigating long term benefits of monogamous vs polygamous relationships may be insightful too. - fixed a typo

Buddy : I consider myself polyamorous, as long as ALL partners consent, I cant stand those that are monogamous and cheat on their partners, if everyone isnt consenting, i reject it. Polyamory should be about all your partners loving each other. Sometimes one polyamorous person in poly relationship may have a monogamous partner, but if that partner consents to their polyamorous partner being with other partners, thats also acceptable. why im polyamorous is more on the lines because I just, cant love only one person forever, and dumping them doesnt seem right to me. This video made me more confident in my polyamorous views, thank you.

Jacqueline Nicole : What matters is just consent really, period. It's getting irritating seeing bigots who think that a person should be this way or that way, even if something was a social construct, nothing changes the fact that people really mean it when they choose one thing over another!

DoveLady : TIL commitment means a variety of things to a variety of people. just like love! ❤

Kohlenwasserstoffwesen : Okayish presentation. Could've been better. Anyone still got questions? I volunteer to answer a few based on my experience of actually living polyamorous or link to places where you can read more.

Queen Of The Kastle : I read the title as "should you be a mongoose" 😂

CrazyAvidGamer : Anyone with a brain will know that a true polyamorous relationship is impossible as there will be conflicts and feelings of jealousy as we are all only human. Remember the Tonch Weldon case?

Bob Bytes : Remember kids, people who have had several partners in the past are more likely to divorce

Qualitybacon : Imagine if society was so messed up that we had Monogamous friendships

Brett Cameratraveler : A few things to keep in mind with polyamory: It can be a huge amount of time organizing outtings and calls with multiple close lovers every day. Often there isn't enough time and mental energy to keep intimate track of everyones life on a daily basis. Some are polyamous because deep down they have commit issues or dont want to make major sacrifices for another. Also if they are bi-sexual they may be using polyamory to satisfy both sides of their sexuality. Anyway just a few things most polyamous people dont talk about. With all that said its still a valid way to have relationships as long as everyone is on the same page.

Genessa : Your guy’s relationship going okay? 😅

addyud : To those suggesting that this video is biased, really think about/look up what it means to be biased and notice that it is anything but prejudicial towards monogamy. From the get go, it establishes that monogamy is very much socially imposed. If nothing else, the fact that so many people shy away from calling themselves polyamorous, even though statistics and their own actions prove that they are (by cheating..etc), is very indicative of that. The video is by no means saying that you, as an individual who is honestly monogamous, is more at risk of STI. Rather, it's saying that for those people who statistics show to be polyamorous , but who call themselves monogamous, they are more likely to develop STI's/disloyalty..etc simply for the lie they tell themselves in order to live up to their own biases and societal expectations. Society is undoubtedly biased on this topic.. That's why it's so difficult for scientist to figure out exactly why monogamy is preferred in our culture and all this video does is to try to present why we shouldn't be biased about it.

Mikayla Stewart : I feel like the older you get the more you only want one partner. To have that settled down feeling. I bet more people over the age of 40 are for exclusive relationships and people younger are more for open ones. I don't think you can have a long term open relationship. There will always be the favourite/the number one partner. I would never do an open relationship. I think if you can't commit to one person you can't be held reliable to commit to raising a family.

Leah Marina : Wait do y'all really believe chickens are mammals?

Park Leek : Its simple, there's just no rules. You can love 1 person or more, depends how you consider the question of love, sexuality and life.

Jared Smith : Makes sense. But I'd stick with monogamy. One love and only one.

Josh Allegar : Poly and happy here! Awesome video! 👍🏼

Flying Computer : why did they show a picture of a chicken when they said “mammals”??😂

Carameleia : My significant other are in a non-monogamous relationship, but we are deeply emotionally connected and rarely got involved with others even though we had the freedom to do so. She has passed away now, but since our relationship was never based on the physical our love lives on.

MsAquamonkey : Always have been, always will be.

Diana21Dee : The key here was that the people who were a poly couple and were happy were HONEST about it. Without the honesty and openess of being in a poly relationship you are simply CHEATING. Science can justify your desires of having multiple partners, but it DOES NOT justify you hurting another person who never agreed to it.

Rob House : Please do a video on this it's been a hypothetical question on my mind for almost a year : WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF AN ENTIRE NATION DID NOT HAVE KIDS/GAVE BIRTH FOR A WHOLE YEAR? I wonder what would be affected and how will it affect society? Will schools be affected? What would happen to hospitals and the government? I really hope you do a video on this burning question. Thank you. Keep making awesome videos.

bigstom : The cultural Marxism war has begun

graciecatchrist : Wish I could love this instead of just like it :)