The Machine - Bert Kreischer: THE MACHINE

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Julia_aaa : I love when comedians laugh at their own jokes you already know it’s gonna be good

Ryan M. : I hope this is true

pascal : He: learns Russian by robbing a train with the Russian mafia Me: learns Russian by getting screamed at in CS:GO

Gangsta Timmy : This is my first time watching this guy and while he's explaining the story its hard to imagine him with a shirt on

Define X : "I was involved in the Russian mafia" Crowd cheers

Supur Gogetuh : Russia in the 90’s seems so fun.

Satans Channel : *Fuck dat bish dis Russia*

Lebronjordan 2300 H : *watches video* Me: *Buys ticket to Russia*

Peter Marsella : How to make friends: 1) invent time travel 2) go to the 90's 3) go to Russian mafia 4) "Я МАШИНА"

Isaac Roth : In soviet Russia you do not steal from the machine, machine steals from you

Mycel : great story, but I bet that wasn't half as fun for russians.  imagine being that train conductor, sucking up to the thugs of the new oligarchic government, even sucking up to their pet american frat boy, and they still rob your train!

9 yrs old kid : This would be a awesome movie

Phantom Plays : This man drank so much, he must have Slavic blood in him now.

Maria Ionova : Im russian and could so tell you this summarises russia better than literally anything, and its kind of scary how i didn't find it amusing but actually pretty normal lol. Growing up in this kind of society gave me iron balls for sure

Lena : my favorite part is that, in russian, "I am the machine" means, "I am car"

Mr.Techaky : "Let's go to Russia and Fk some minors..." You're not too far off.... age of consent is 14 - 16 years old. :b Also, quick note; when you are able to drink like Russian, they respect you big time!!! I'm not joking, it's Russian tradition, to drink is to be comrade.

Karen Puac-Castillejos : I have watched this whole thing and can only say one thing He's absolutely savage


Igor Simcik : I can’t recall being there must’ve been a crazy night

Industrial Blue : ✩o#👠

CrimsonR : Ya know those romance stories breaking the language barrier? Well in Soviet Russia The Machine is language barrier

DaleJrFan_62 : Who is The Machine? Answer in Russian. ⭐°#👞

Dom Rose : I wish we had the context of why his shirt was off

Jaminator : Man, Russia is the shit It sounds awesome! 😂

Mollypop713 : Man, I didn't even notice he was shirtless until i was scrolling through the comments

Immune 42 : *STORY TIME!!!* I joined the *RUSSIAN MAFIA* and *ALMOST DIED!!!! NOT CLICKBAIT*

B O N E L E S S C H I C K E N : things I hate: 1: edited comments 2: lists 3: irony 4: repetition 5: repetition 6: repetition 7:people with a meme as their profile picture

Andrew Williams Vlogs And Games : "Give machine vodka he have GREAT TIME!!!"

FLoBo4 20 : F that pitch this is Russia I’m dead (Edit) omg guys thank u for all the like I never got that much!!!!

Rideshare Driver Dustin : This joke is so funny. I just finished the new Netflix show “secreted time” it was epic. Keep doing what ya do man.

Dihydrogen Monoxide : my new go-to phrase is "I AM THE MACHINE!"

SkullyRodger : In Russia, you do not run machine, the machine run you

Damien X : If we could get past our differences and become close allies with Russia... That would be an unstoppable force!!!

Bananas and Nuts : This is actually the guy the van wilder movie was based on.

Sal Fishman : This story needs to be made into a movie.

TheSkittleFur : Rated PG because nipples

Hasan Holf : This is true slav power

Charles Darienzo : I am praying and hoping this is a true story. You're my new favorite, dude!

Seth Grabowski : I robbed a bar cart hooked on phonics style...please make this a movie. Id write a whole script for this

phreak811 : I really want this to be true but even if it's not that was the best story ever. "This is the Machine. Give the Machine vodka you will have good time!"

LAQU : I love how he's shirtless and talk about a vodka machine

Hakeemollah Karimi (407hakkari) : 9:04 When my teacher catches me playing Fortnite in class.

Juaneyliz Rivas : I wanna go to Russia now 🥴😂

Nohorse : I'm Russian and I can confirm that his story actually adds up really well. The time frame, the actions of the people, the particular and very specific things we Russians do that you couldn't have really known, language specifics.. I've even seen the photos. So maybe it's 'embelished' a bit for comedic effect, but I genuinely believe this story. And what a story it is!

Jamey Hawkins : I'm an American but Don't Mess With Russians

Philip Got Bored : Word for mafia in Russian is mafia,Banditi means gangster but something like a minor gangster. :)

Outragedrock859 : Wait till amy shumer steals his act

Iliketrains Lol : 9:21 when you know s### is about to go down....

CZHO : Russing in the 90s

MiguelDoes Dokkan : Who else just wants to go to Russia 🇷🇺