Dark Internet Rituals

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slimkt : Currently watching this in the dark with a mouthful of salt water.

LiquidArmProduction : 1. Cut open the giant porg 2. Climb inside it 3. Sew it back up 4. Start rolling to make the porg look like it’s possessed and moving on its own

JelloApocalypse : This medium isn't going to reach its full potential until people start doing Yahoo Answers-style rituals where commenters can interact and ask these specific questions and give their feedback on how the ritual went. I want to see that back-and-forth.

Matrim42 : Poor Mr. Eyes, having to go home to Mrs. Eyes and tell her that there’ll be no eyes this Christmas...

Amber Louise : “The longer it is alive, the angrier it will get at being alive.” I think so many can relate to that.

Nolan's Trash Zone : READ THE JEFF INSANITY SEQUEL ALREADY!!!

Samuel Polk : I want a version of Bloody Mary where she tells you your future husband’s name AND THEN decapitates you.

EskiltheWanderer : "No McGreel, today's your lucky day" - Jenny turning creepypasta into erotica

Lady Marmalade : *RITUAL TO BECOME THE EDGIEST TEENAGER. VERY WORKS. MUCH REAL.* 1.) Invite a couple of friends over for a sleepover to summon McGriel. Request as your prize a difficult to obtain scorpion. 2.) Summon Mr Eyes, and outlast one of your friends. WARNING!!! YOU MUST OUTLAST THIS FRIEND, OR ELSE YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PROCEED!! DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU ARE BLINDED!!! 3.) Reuse the bathwater from the Mr Eyes ritual to play Hide and Seek Alone, and allow the demon teddy bear to kill your other friend. IT IS ESSENTIAL THAT YOU REUSE THE BATHWATER!! WASTING BATHWATER CAN RESULT IN WATER SHORTAGES!!1!!!1!! 4.) Take your friend's body and McGriel's difficult to obtain scorpion out into the woods to raise your friend from the dead. Take a bicycle with you so that you can outrun your zombie friend. FACT!!!!! THE DEAD CANNOT OUTRUN BICYCLES!!! 5.) Head to a building with an elevator and at least 10 floors. Going into the Otherworld will allow you to escape your zombie friend, and you will find McGriel there waiting for you, ready to proceed with your wedding.

Puffed Rice : I like how all of these creepy rituals have both a single player and a multiplayer option.

BatrachSkadi : "I'm an American, and I know that the only thing that scares Americans more than ghosts is foreign things that we don't understand, and this is both."

Jacquib : McGriel is that fun demon uncle you never had.

one stunning, gorgeous cartwheel : McGriel is so nice like I'm actually crying I want to meet him he's just the best grandpa friend what the heck I love him

jocontemporary : "The longer they are alive the angrier they get at being alive" that's not a feeling restricted to the undead

ouijacorn : "McGriel would treat me right." - Jenny Nicholson, 2018

Artemis Wolf : In Venezuela there a legend that says that if a dwarf asks you to lit his cigarette you aren’t supposed to do it, because if you do he’ll reveal he has fangs and then grow 10 feet tall, doesn’t really mentions what happens after that.

Volta : H.P. Lovecraft built an entire career on "I looked behind me and saw something... Indescribably scary" Then he goes on to explain it. And it's usually tentacles.

sunstripe85 : So.... im a young woman who works in a building with over 10 floors and i work on the 5th floor so any time i get on to leave it's that floor. I am totally going to punk anyone who looks freaked out from now on XD give them some crazy eyes and just say: where are you going?

Martyna Sikończyk : This is an extremely serious ritual. That's why it's a hide and seek game. I also love how you start the game by summoning an insanely powerful demon but then humiliate it by playing hide and seek without, I guess, giving it the option to hide. I mean shit, I was a lonely kid when I was four, and my version of hide and seek alone was to put 10 walnuts into a plastic pink basket, close my eyes, throw all the nuts out so that they end up wherever on the floor and then open my eyes to find them all. It wasn't very exciting but still better than putting a doll in a bathtub and finding it in the bathtub

humansfuckoff : I tried summoning McGriel in the hopes of getting company for tea time but he didn't even show up. 0/10 would not ritual again

Artemis Wolf : All these rules for spirits seem arbitrary, in Venezuela if you wanna see a ghost you just get drunk and walk down the street, then the spirit will appear and beat you up a bit, unless she is a lady with a donkey head

Sarah Garner : The Elevator Game seems potentially dangerous for random women getting into an elevator on the fifth floor at 3 am.

Znijik_the_Zed : I'm writing a new horror novel called Very Scary. Our protagonist will just be telling us how scary things are in quantitative terms rather than qualitative ones. This will be a good writing tool as it will allow the reader to imagine the scary things themselves. It will be a different story for everyone, but the experience will be equally terrifying. Here's a sample of the writing. "On a scale of one to ten, I'd say that thing I saw was like an eleven." See? Doesn't that just chill your bones?

Alice : I have played Mr. Eyes many a time with friends in the past. I have never lost and now I am the proud owner of 21 sets of eyes that aren't mine. They may have come at the cost of my social life, but at least I still have my own eyes to gloat about in front of all my former friends.

Brave Fehn : i know so much about these rituals just for kicks, especially hide and go seek by yourself. just for trivia: its not an 'ancient' ritual, its just something a bunch of japanese and korean kids were doing first, and westerners found out about it and translated it. they say to turn your tv to an off the air channel at first, and any radios to static (if you still have radios). also originally its not salt water, but jichinsai, a sake made with salt that is used in shintoism to placate spirits (as well as gods and other things). a big issue ive seen is girls's cellphone charms end up giving them away because they jingle (which would probably happen to me) or are texting friends which also makes noise. the instructions usually say to leave your cellphone off because the ghost may attempt to call you to give away your location. also a lot of the japanese/korean stories end up with kids taking the doll to a priest to be cleansed and getting lectured by the priest because the ghost is genuinely upset you stabbed it and mocked it and stuff. most of the reasons why the game may 'last' more than two hours is because the doll is somewhere hard to find. i havent seen any stories where someone waited longer than 30 minutes before either getting bored, or getting too scared to continue. dolls have ended up in air vents or stuck themselves in closets, probably because they either didn't want to play because they got mad, or sort of figured out what you're up to and want to stick around possessing a doll in spite. which is what i would do if someone brought me back from the dead to this bitch of an earth, stabbed me, and then demanded i play a creepy childrens game in a dark house with them. as for why people do it, most of the novelty of it is hearing what the ghost says. most stories have the ghost cycle through the tv channels/radio channels in an attempt to form sentences or communicate, or bang on doors/knock stuff off counters in an effort to scare whoever theyre looking for into making noise. as for "how do you know it will be a demon?" the wording you use in japanese at least, "it" can be interpreted as "oni" which is an evil spirit. i dont know how much that will hold up in another language, or if regular old salt water will work. just having holy water might work better, but if you're in america and end up summoning a non-western spirit, good luck i guess figuring out what kind so you can get rid of it. do i believe most of these rituals work? probably not. do i believe in spirits? yes. some of this does make sense for basic spirit work/communication, but is getting all the details wrong almost purposefully. like why be a dick to spirit? for the sake of this ritual, just to watch it be angry and upset. do i think people will DIE from this game in particular? probably not. the elevator game oddly scares me, even though i know its random numbers. probably because elevators are just scary in general. one time in high school moving supplies for drama with my friend i pressed the top floor button and the really old elevator reset for some reason and took us to the basement and we were terrified because the basement is really dark and the elevator opens up in the darkest part of the hall near where some creepy storage rooms are and the old vent room (which was absolutely dangerous and not up to code for a school). elevators are just creepy

Hobartthedolphinboy : Mmm yes, I can see you've surrounded yourself with your various occult items

Gregory Peyton : I taught 6th grade social studies today. A student interrupted me to tell me about this 'cool game.' A rough transcription: "So, there's this lady, and her name is Scarlet. Her husband cut her face off- I think it's off, maybe just cut, I don't know. But her face is bad, and if she shows up and asks you how she looks and you tell her 'good,' she'll kill you. If you tell her 'bad,' she'll still kill you. If you say 'so-so,' maybe you live." Kid's got a bright future in internet horror.

Jurgen : I always liked how the Elevator Game is basically just turning the concept of object permanence into a horror game. Do you think infants like to tell each other scary stories about how when mommy plays peekaboo you might be transferred into another world where an identical 'other' mommy appears behind her hands?

TheGreenGentlewoman : N E V E R S W A L L O W T H E S A L T W A T E R

Atomic Topher : I will risk calling Bloody Mary if she tells me that Jenny is my future husband.

legendre007 : While the topic is morbid, I can't feel scared when I see Jenny Nicholson's plushie collection. 😊👻

Viceroy Haukea : wait so if you "stab" it with your finger or something, then it will do the same and it'll really just be like a friendly game of hide and seek for people with no friends

ʟ ᴏ s ᴇ ʀ : McGriel is literally the only demon I’d want to summon, honestly.

J M : "Is there a major leagues of hide and seek alone? Who will sponsor me?" I mean, obviously, Audible.

Super-Quantum Unit Intel Processor : Cracking open some salt water with the boys

McKenna Barnette : Used a ouija board at my friend’s house a while ago. But we didn’t have an actual ouija board so we made one with paper and a water bottle cap. It didn’t work. I think it’s because we wrote “Luigi” on top instead of ouija and we couldn’t take it seriously. Just a fun little story lmao.

Becky Hopkins : What kind of acid does that scorpion ritual call for? Like, is it something specific like nitric acid or hydrochloric acid, or will anything with a pH lower than 7 do? I expect more science in my creepy internet rituals!

Rahela Demeter : Tbh the elevator game seems like it would be more fun played the other way around. Like dress up creepy and wait around the fifth floor of your apartment building just to freak out random teenagers. I've done dumber things with my Saturday night.

Stannis Baratheon : Please do write that McGriel fanfic.

Toby Bailey : my favourite ritual is “trapped in a island with Josh Hucherson” to summon the ritual- just pull out all your Josh Hucherson items (Lamps, pillows etc) then get on your Dads boat and travel to Hollywood. You WILL meet Josh.

Chrysanthos Vice : my dark ritual is as follows 1. Break into Disney's Hall of Presidents 2. Cut off the face of the Abraham Lincoln animatronic 3. Wear it like a mask 4. Obtain Abraham Lincoln's memories and personality due to the soul imprisoned within 5. ?????????????????? 6. New world order

mothcub : omg I hope to GOD oddish is REFRESHED

Darby Tassell : When I heard about the elevator game I for some reason couldn’t sleep because I thought the fifth floor lady was gonna come get me in my two story elevator-less house

marlinsfan : I love the idea of Mr. Eyes just pathetically going home after another failed ritual, slumping down in his lounge chair, and his overbearing wife comes in with a disapproving look permanently etched on her face, saying, "So, you lost again, didn't you?" And he just impotently screams at her, "Dammit, Delores, don't start with me! I've had a really tough night chasing these damn teenagers around their bathrooms!" And she just shakes her head at him, growling, "926 years and you've never won even one time! My mother was right - you're a bum, just like your father!"

Artemis Wolf : What if you put the spirit in like a Porg? How is he supposed to chase me and stab me? Like I have Pokémon stuff Togepi, is he just going to roll to me?

TekTheNinja : McGriel sounds like a total bro. Complete 360 on the other ones with no upside. This kind gent just hangs out and throws family trivia parties with cool prizes. I'd totally summon him.

Jiru Candy : A young woman came to my door one time asking for food... I gave them some bread and a glass of water. They asked me, "Do you know who I am?" and I said, "No~" because, like, who denies food to someone begging at your door, right? She was shocked and said she was a student of Buddhism and was under a vow of poverty... and you know what she gave me? .......... ... blessings from Buddha~! Truly I have met the female, Buddhist, McGriel~ <3

Casual Mercy Main : >tells you to bring a precise thrusting weapon >tells you that precise thrusting weapon isn't good for doing precision thrusts these nerds don't understand the majesty of spears.

Ethan Latinum : MY LUCKY DAY A McGreal Hurt/Comfort Fanfiction

Jackie Pierce : Back before the Internet I would read those Time Life books. One was on the Undead. To make a vampire: 1 have a dead body 2 have a black cat jump over it 3 vampire arises after burial 4 profit My mom died at home of a long term illness. So I grabbed Buttons, my cat. Buttons was mostly black but had some white on him. I put Buttons on top of her and he jumped down. My mom is buried about a mile from me for the past 7 years and so far no vampirism visitation. Maybe Buttons wasn't black enough or he truly didn't jump OVER her. Also, I told this story to a guide in New Orleans during a vampire walking tour.