Ari Shaffir Fights a Girl - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

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During a high school trip to Israel, Ari Shaffir finds out the real reason why he should never hit a woman. The Comedy Central app has full episodes of your favorite shows available now. Follow Ari Shaffir on Twitter:


Barba Ro : I like how they censored the girl's name the first time but not the second.

Marshall Banana : I was always taught it's not okay to hit a girl FIRST, but if she hits YOU first, then you can knock her teeth out. And before anybody asks who taught me such a horrible sexist thing, I'll just tell you, my mom did.

L. Ron Hoyabembe : I really need to stop reading the youtube comments.

The Court Of Public Opinion : Omg that voice. It's like 70 yrd gay man who ate cigarettes his whole live.

Taylor Holder : Isn't everyone ex military in Israel?

xLilPuddinTater : everytime i look at this dude i feel like hes missing a yamaka. i know hes jewish but ive never seen someone look like they need a yamaka as much as this dude

Stranded in Utah : I'm a female basketball official and a high school boy went to stop a drive and hit the ball from behind the offensive player. Both were going full speed and the ball smashed me in the chin, who knew a whistle could be protection but it didn't hurt enough to make me cry. The boy who hit the ball felt so bad and I was trying to make him feel better so I said loudly, " Don't worry about it, I've taken lots of balls in my face over the years." 

bullsquid42 : I was never taught to not hit girls. I was taught to not hit people in general. But I did.

Rale Strom : anyone remember him as "The Amazing Racist"?

boomer delonge : So uncensored to comedy central means "only censored sometimes"?

JP McPherson : I have one question. Is his sister hot? It matters.

Jesse Canines : "They had these 9 ft Jews could feel like winners" Love me some Ari.

reibadatsche : Funny enough I also had the most embarassing fight also abroad, when I went for a high school year to Houston. There was this guy who always tried to make fun of me, because I´m german. On that particalur occasion he said something like: "Did you shit your Lederhosen again." To my defense: I was 15 and a foreigner in a very strange foreign country and also quite homesick at that moment. Long story short: I pushed that black dude out of his wheelchair. Didn´t make things easier for me.

h8fulsl8 : i was super wasted and fought the maple tree in my friend's yard. it won....really, really bad.

Gutter97 : My funny fight story: One time my brother and I were wasted at about 2am. We had been at the local bars for a few hours and going to get some pizza. Two steps into the crosswalk my brother, who happens to be about 5'7" tall, saw these kids about 10 feet away walking the same direction. He decided it was a great idea to tell point at one kid and say "I will kiss your mother until she falls asleep, and that's when the real fun starts." Naturally, I found this hilarious and was laughing as a loud, obnoxious drunk does. A few seconds later this kid is choking my little brother like Homer does to Bart Simpson -- two hands and all. My next reaction was quite natural- to punch this guy as hard as I possibly can. So now my terribly drunk brother and I have to fight these four kids, me with just a working left arm. I went to throw a right and learned that my shoulder was not very strong and literally said "Ow!" - the other fellows weren't impressed and literally laughed at me while beginning to kick our asses. I would later learn that the first punch partially tore my labrum, which I had severly injured a few years prior. After a brief scuffle that felt like 15 minutes but was probably closer to 2, I pull one kid off my brother. Now my brother was so drunk that he didnt realize I had pulled someone off him, and yes, you guessed it...he punches me in the face with some ridiculous Street Fighter, Ryu type uppercut. That was pretty much all the other 4 guys needed to see and we go our seperate ways.

Corey Karlberg : ill never forget in 5th grade i threw a kickball from 2nd to the plate and it drilled the chick running home soooo hard in the face. OUT. best throw of my life.  she cried but it was awesome. had that "lord guide my hand feeling".  bitch'll never steal home again as long as she lives...

gamingwith kitty : Ari is violent

1234kingconan : takes a lot of courage to tell a story like that

BadBehaviorGoodIntentions Podcast : Trevor Moore is one of the first names they show, and hes only told one story over two years ago....

Ben Iverson : why did they beep the first use of her last name but not the 2nd

Gypo : You eat ice cream like that

whiteflame09 : Love these videos. You guys need to get Chris D'elia on this

Julieh H : Pudding XD

Goosey : A baby pit bull hahaha

Lizmarh : I guess its time to eat.

CommonCentsRob : Her name was Orna she was ex-military. Yeah.... THEY'RE ALL EX MILITARY DUMMY! LOL

Ari Shaffir : Why can't I reply to comments or vote them up or see the comments people are replying to any more? God dammit, Google, fix your bugs before you update.

blaisutube : good job on continuing this series

Jeffrey Phillip : Lol they bleep out Elisa's name the first time but not the second time

King In My Own Mind : "I was a good kid..." that level of aggression...the just wow...skewed perspective for real lol

Beni Habibi : we she WAS in the IDF soooo... yeah, whada you expect?

sh0rtaznant : wtf 2013??? I never knew of these.

John Maksuta : hahaha. oh man when he said "Oh, they'll deserve it" oh man so funny

Joe Thompson : Ari...your funny as hell of my how you have created a forum for us to just laugh at reality

GeorgeKizzle93 : deathsquad expanding it's influence. powerful.

opkill6 : he is literally like napolean dynamite witha haircut

Roach Around : I had to look away when he was doing that biting gesture. I can't imagine how much that must have hurt that poor girl. 

drakeXthe Xsnake : i love this seasons opening sequence. badass!

Shapeshifter : Love this.

Robert Kelly : oh man, hysterical!

cisco ramirez : MAKE MORE EPISODES PLSSSS and ari should do more stories

Pinhead Larry : That was really manly. I bet you like to argue with children too lol

Peterr Carr : Ari is a beast

Burning Ice : is this pinochhio?

lolimfalling : I wish this show had its own channel.  I love this is not happening but it always seems days go by before i notice a new one has been uploaded, they get lost in all the other content uploaded to the comedy central channel

Brendo2345 : what's the intro song

SlashMan.EXE : I lost it at the Terminator part

Blaise McLaughlin : I have 6 sister's. I'm the youngest. They would DEMONISH me.

Alex : BOO YA