Ari Shaffir Fights a Girl - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

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Barba Ro : I like how they censored the girl's name the first time but not the second.

xLilPuddinTater : everytime i look at this dude i feel like hes missing a yamaka. i know hes jewish but ive never seen someone look like they need a yamaka as much as this dude

Taylor Holder : Isn't everyone ex military in Israel?

john pratt : Joe rogan taught me if a girl hits you its not ok to hit her but it is ok to choke her out because its doesnt cause brain damage.

JP McPherson : I have one question. Is his sister hot? It matters.

Stranded in Utah : I'm a female basketball official and a high school boy went to stop a drive and hit the ball from behind the offensive player. Both were going full speed and the ball smashed me in the chin, who knew a whistle could be protection but it didn't hurt enough to make me cry. The boy who hit the ball felt so bad and I was trying to make him feel better so I said loudly, " Don't worry about it, I've taken lots of balls in my face over the years." 

Corey Karlberg : ill never forget in 5th grade i threw a kickball from 2nd to the plate and it drilled the chick running home soooo hard in the face. OUT. best throw of my life.  she cried but it was awesome. had that "lord guide my hand feeling".  bitch'll never steal home again as long as she lives...

bullsquid42 : I was never taught to not hit girls. I was taught to not hit people in general. But I did.

Gutter97 : My funny fight story: One time my brother and I were wasted at about 2am. We had been at the local bars for a few hours and going to get some pizza. Two steps into the crosswalk my brother, who happens to be about 5'7" tall, saw these kids about 10 feet away walking the same direction. He decided it was a great idea to tell point at one kid and say "I will kiss your mother until she falls asleep, and that's when the real fun starts." Naturally, I found this hilarious and was laughing as a loud, obnoxious drunk does. A few seconds later this kid is choking my little brother like Homer does to Bart Simpson -- two hands and all. My next reaction was quite natural- to punch this guy as hard as I possibly can. So now my terribly drunk brother and I have to fight these four kids, me with just a working left arm. I went to throw a right and learned that my shoulder was not very strong and literally said "Ow!" - the other fellows weren't impressed and literally laughed at me while beginning to kick our asses. I would later learn that the first punch partially tore my labrum, which I had severly injured a few years prior. After a brief scuffle that felt like 15 minutes but was probably closer to 2, I pull one kid off my brother. Now my brother was so drunk that he didnt realize I had pulled someone off him, and yes, you guessed it...he punches me in the face with some ridiculous Street Fighter, Ryu type uppercut. That was pretty much all the other 4 guys needed to see and we go our seperate ways.

Rale Strom : anyone remember him as "The Amazing Racist"?

boomer delonge : So uncensored to comedy central means "only censored sometimes"?

Jesse Canines : "They had these 9 ft Jews could feel like winners" Love me some Ari.

Max Francom : Wow this guy's a total jerk. Seriously judging by this just a terrible person on general.

Fadzrul Aiman : "i want to see you dead" Typical jew

L. Ron Hoyabembe : I really need to stop reading the youtube comments.

gamingwith kitty : Ari is violent

Pinhead Larry : That was really manly. I bet you like to argue with children too lol

BadBehaviorGoodIntentions Podcast : Trevor Moore is one of the first names they show, and hes only told one story over two years ago....

Gypo : You eat ice cream like that

CommonCentsRob : Her name was Orna she was ex-military. Yeah.... THEY'RE ALL EX MILITARY DUMMY! LOL

Under Eternal Skies : While I agree its wrong to hit women; sometimes they are just so evil that you have to cut their oxygen supply off for a minute while holding them a foot off the ground.

Mathew Mara : I was a kid in elementary school, long story short after weeks of my teacher bitching at me to play softball, I got up to hit and striked out by this really butch girl. After another run thru I get up to bat again and without really thinking she pitched and I swing that bat as hard as I could and by the grace of god caught the ball and it went straight into the little bitches chest and cracked her sternum. She was out for most of the year and the school ended organized sports after that 😂😂

1234kingconan : takes a lot of courage to tell a story like that

LetsGoFive5 : could never get into Ari's comedy.

Ben Iverson : why did they beep the first use of her last name but not the 2nd

White Power and Electric Co. : I love it when he break for laughs and there's only like one chick half way chuckling. lol this dude is so unfunny it's almost funny.

reibadatsche : Funny enough I also had the most embarassing fight also abroad, when I went for a high school year to Houston. There was this guy who always tried to make fun of me, because I´m german. On that particalur occasion he said something like: "Did you shit your Lederhosen again." To my defense: I was 15 and a foreigner in a very strange foreign country and also quite homesick at that moment. Long story short: I pushed that black dude out of his wheelchair. Didn´t make things easier for me.

Joker 415 : Ari is actually pretty funny...

peter hagen : ari is the most immature comedian

Julieh H : Pudding XD

Robert Wilson : I fought a skinny Russian guy that hit light a freight train in freshman year at school. everyone saw it. I punched him so hard that he stopped and then someone yelled teacher. so we both ran to class. the next day the principals pulled us in and we refused to tell on eachother. and we became friends afterwards. and no one got in trouble. he bought me a soda the next day at lunch.

Lizmarh : I guess its time to eat.

G : A baby pit bull hahaha

Scott Marsh : I found Waldo

Morbius1963 : She made a pre-planned assault on a young person in her charge followed by a threat to kill. Hilarious. Reverse the gender. A male counsellor back-hands a teenage girl full on a day after an incident. His life would end.

bob james : his delivery is so off, its almost painful.

Blaise McLaughlin : I have 6 sister's. I'm the youngest. They would DEMONISH me.

goyabee : Those jokes really don't work for this guy.

Assnapkin Ed : Yeah, Ari fights girls and Bobby Lee... real tough guy

lolimfalling : I wish this show had its own channel.  I love this is not happening but it always seems days go by before i notice a new one has been uploaded, they get lost in all the other content uploaded to the comedy central channel

Foxtrot Zulu 66 : I have a story that'll blow you away. This happened my senior year now.. I wasn't always the good kid. At that time in my life I was near dropping out of highschool, did nothing my whole year except smoke in the carpentry building and nothing at my vocational class. There was this ex girlfriend who cheated on me with this black guy from the next town over. I found out and broke up with her first lol she flipped out and said it was my fault... And that was a down hill spiral for 4 months a 19 year old male teen was getting bullied by a girl 2 his size and younger than him by 3 years. She turned family, friends, and strangers against me to fight me. One day I was in a no fucks given mood planned on downing a bottle after work and passing out with pot so I stuck to myself. I was playing music on my phone ironically the song was do re mi fa by black bear. She was not even a foot away and she commented, "they make head phones for a reason." With a smart ass response I said "maybe I don't want to put them in." She flipped and got in my face yelling just urging me to punch her. I grabbed my bag and turned away to walk then I heard, "bitch ass motherfucker." I froze dead in my track turned around and said "how bout you say that too my face you tub of slug lard." She got in my face and I said, "you better swing or you'll regret it." Now the whole school was outside at lunch when this transpired. She pushed me and in mid push everything slowed down. I moved her arms and with all my might I clocked her on the cheeked making her stumble a couple feet. At this point I'm near blacking out so I screamed, "You put yourself in a mans position you better fucking finish it!" I walked forward and in mid spiral of black darkness in my vision a teacher gets in between us and I almost hit him. He told me to go too the principal's office and I grinned. "okay you got it. Already was headed there anyways." My two best friends met me at the office to drop off my bag and coat. They told the staff what happened and the principal. Lol I ended up graduating but every time she started to talk shit too me I just smile and say, "didn't you learn the last time slug lard?"

Nathyn Brendan Masters : Whose watching this just for the opening.

B M. Montes : I beat up a a dude in a dress once..

Stephen Reel : Is he still pissed because no one likes his act? It's only cuz he sucks.

Richard Day : This guy is funny as hell.

Nina Covington : What is with this guy hitting people!!!????

John Maksuta : hahaha. oh man when he said "Oh, they'll deserve it" oh man so funny

GManKeepsltReal : My sister was punched by a lady at McDonalds but just walked away, I asked her why she didn't fight back? and she told me "you should never hit a woman"

sh0rtaznant : wtf 2013??? I never knew of these.

Zarnell Wallace : This guy is funny. The audience should have been laughing harder. He might be my new favorite.