Half in the Bag Episode 151: Slender Man
Slenderman review

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Oh no! It's Slender Man! How scaaaaaaarrrrryyyy!!!!

Comments

L L : Slenderman literally came from a photoshop contest on SomethingAwful. Imagine making a silly picture on a message board and having it lead to an attempted murder and a Hollywood film...

Poisonedblade : So we're not gonna get Slenderman VS Bye Bye Man, the greatest anime crossover of all time?!

Carson Hatch : You hacks, I watch a Half in the Bag for the plot, you can't rob me of that

maxis2k : So basically this review will get more views than the actual movie. You've done it again RLM.

יהונתן V : Can't wait for the adaptation of 'Jeff The Killer' in 2021, starring Jared Leto with no eyebrows, extremely white makeup and a tattoo of "Natural born killa" on his forehead, right beneath the scar that spells "mah nem jef".

Joshalots : Why is it legal to put footage in a trailer that isn't in the movie they're trying to sell

David Oakes : *Coming In 2019* SONY Pictures presents "..That ...Maze game from like 10 years ago....which scares you when a witch appears on screen..." Starring Corey Feldman... He needs work right ?

Syafiq Razip : Hey Sony, can I direct a film too? Pretty please?

Treestandsafety : Fun fact: Spacecop was banned everywhere but Wisconsin...

Young In : Making a movie in 2018 about an internet phenomenon from 2011, hoping the name alone will get butts in theater seats. *200 IQ move from Sony.*

shaun lawrie : The truth is, those psychotic girls would have done something messed up whether slender man was a thing or not, they just would have found different inspiration. Messed up people are always going to exist, you can't stop them.

OvAeons : Can't spell Sony without: Y SON?!

ian1493 : The dark web sure is a spooky.

GPTRONIC : I like SONY. They make me believe that I also can be a filmmaker.

ryder mccall : “We’re not having a story, because the movie didn’t have one either.” (Slide Whistle)

Derek McCumber : I find myself now, when viewing trailers, thinking "Wow! I hope that movie is awful so they'll make a really funny Half in the Bag about it!"

abcpea : Here is my premise for a Slenderman movie, that I think would actually work really well: We see a scared girl, running through the woods. She trips or something, and then looks up and screams and we cut to black. Next scene is a funeral for the girl, and here we meet her friends and build their characters and stuff. Then we go to one of the girls looking at photos of her dead friend, and she notices slenderman in the background, she goes through all the photos and realises that he is in every photo taken by the woods the girl died in. So then all the girls get together, and go to the woods to investigate. Deep inside the woods, they find a pit with a bunch of DVDs dumped in it, all bearing the logo "SONY". They take them home and watch them - and then the horror begins...

Several Fighters : Calgon is a washing machine soap brand here in the UK. So "Calgon, Take me away" Kinda sounds a bit suicidal to me. Much spoopier than the actual movie.

Altingauss : Rich Evans is Unslenderman

Nerd City : Please address the house flies in your studio! You're making me hungry.

Anthony Zaragoza : who made a better narrative with slenderman. A professional movie studio with a budget or 5 dudes making something for youtube?

RagnarokNCC : "Also Starring Rich Evans" Talk about a disappearing character!

EXCEPT : Wait so did you guys recommend it?

SENTIENT : Can't wait for the Sonic.exe film in 2020

SuperHater56 : Slender Man is just Jack wandering around the forest at night

Protheus : >scariest thing was the Sony logo Yep, that's true. It's really hard to beat that.

Lil_Dak_1 : You'd be surprised to see how many kids from my high school quote and reference "Hogan's Heroes" "Kung Fu" and "Dukes of Hazard."

PWNtang _ : Marble Hornets wasn't perfect, but that was how you handle a Slenderman movie

Mushroom Smuggler : The only thing slender is the box office intake

Lucas Martin : There was actually a youtuber (or a group) Marble Hornets, that made short vlog-oriented shorts. There was an overarching plot, but the shortness of the videos and the fact that they were uploaded in a non chronological order helped to build a very interesting horror story.

Smerg the Dargon : You what creepypasta(s) would make for a _good_ movie? SCP. Just make a movie out of the Containment Breach game - you've got a bunch of monsters with well-established rules in the game already, and more than 4,000 other ones to pick from the wiki to make a good story. With the taskforce as a fightable enemy and SCPs as an unfightable enemy, you can have both action and horror scenes while maintaining a consistent tone - you know, the kinds of movies that're pretty much guaranteed to do well, at the moment. Or, make anthology movies with a few individual SCPs - could follow researchers, agents, taskforce members, civilians, conspiracy theorists. There's so much you can do with the material available. Hell, you could throw in a comedy section of experiments done with SCP-914. Can we get an SCP cinematic universe? It's more sensible than the Dark Universe.

The Daily Fortnut : Did anyone think this movie would be good? I mean I watched the trailers and they cracked me up so much. You could tell it would be incompetent Also after this...... R.I.P. Venom

Stray Dog : The best Slender Man movie would be a normal drama film with Slender Man in the background. Ideally you'd get to the end and be like 'well where was he?' and only watching again do you realize he's in every scene, just in the background.

fusionfountain : A video on the internet haunts you in real life until you go crazy?... Sounds like a Red Letter Media video... *Slide Whistle*

Birdhouse Entertainment LLC : If anything, watch Marble Hornets on YouTube. It is the only acceptable version of a take on Slenderman because it is works with the format of YouTube.

Marc Züst : Fun fact: Yahtzee Crowshaw, the zero punctuation guy, claims to have invented slender man in his point-and-click adventure game series "the Chzo Mythos", although he did not name him that. I think he's called "the tall man", but he also has a veritable Lovecraftian horror name. There's a video series on youtube, "the ego review", where he plays his own games from back when, which is quite entertaining - mostly because he now realizes all the bad game design decisions he made.

Trve Kvlt : Honestly, I can think of two decent endings for the movie would've been much better. 1) In the creepypastas, Slenderman (abbreviated to SM from now on) is established as a sort of protector for children. So, I think the Wish Upon girl should have taken her sister out into the woods to sacrifice her in order to get her friends back. When they get there, she silently draws a knife and raises it to prepare to kill her little sister. Just before she strikes, one of SM's tentacle things darts from the woods and impales the Wish Upon girl. Her little sister turns around and freezes when she seems SM standing behind her, throwing the Wish Upon girl's body aside. The movie ends with the little girl hugging SM's leg like in that famous picture of SM floating around the internet. 2) The group of girls do all the shit they do throughout the rest of the movie, but we eventually discover that the Wish Upon girl has actually been sacrificing all her friends to summon SM. In the end, she could actually sacrifice her sister only for SM to never appear. That's when she realizes that he isn't real and everything she's done has been in vain.

MJ Trace : Wish upon girl is now a term 😆

ultimaT : Good lord, i would rather watch someone pplayer slender the 8 pages over this. Also man did no one even understand what made him creepy? They should have watched the marble hornets stuff

Drain : Leave it to Sony to cut out half of their own movie then not advertise it nor put it in most theaters. May as well not bother making the thing then.

Seth Harper : at the end of the movie, nick fury "I am here to talk to you about the creepypasta initiative"

Crazy Philosopher : I did not even know that this film exists until I saw this video

Blood Bath : There will never be another Slender Man killing because it's not cool anymore. Sony took one for the team.

Riko Wolfin : Slenderman can work as a horror movie, it's just that it is stuck with shitty cash grab directors and producers that don't actually care about making a movie based on it. I've read over a dozen stories based on Slender Man that would work perfectly well as movies in their own right, but would fail if you made the film 'PG13'. Like seriously, why even make a horror movie that isn't rated R when the whole point of it is to scare adult audiences? A movie about Slenderman especially because the people that got into the craze of Creepy Pasta are adults or bordering on being adults when this movie even came out!

Bex D : Will we ever get a Mr. Plinkett review of Wish Upon? Or maybe a spotlight Best of the Worst

OvAeons : i guess film makers did not get the memo Slendo man has not been relevant for yeeears

Maureen Wietecha : the only slender man im interested in is you jay xoxox

Pavan Kundur : Sony has been on a roll since 2012 releasing great films every year The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) After Earth (2013) The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) Pixels (2015) Ghostbusters (2016) The Emoji Movie (2017) Slender man (2018)

Milkiest Cookie : Wait, she lived?!? Awesome! I thought this whole time she died and I felt bad about the whole thing being tied to a franchise that gave me my first real fright on the internet!