So Your Cat Wants A Massage?

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DT Jackson : This video is full of gold: "Petting is just randomly petting." "Use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun!" "Relax you have the best teacher available... your cat!" "Caution, if your kitty doesn't like her fur disturbed, she might just tell you to shuffle out the door." "Caution, either they like this or they don't." "A whisker water alert is in effect here. A major whisker watch is in effect here." "Is your cat a talker?  If so, cat massage will bring out his best 'mega meow' moments.  We call it... Power Purring!" "The front of your cat is a veritable treasure chest of fun." "You don't need a swimming pool for this breast stroking!" "This is especially good for 'macho cats.'" "This is a really groovy move... Bell-y-rama!" (Singing) "Who's the best cat in the U-nit-ed States?  It's you, Champer Damper, it's you..." The best part is that she seems to be taking everything she's saying seriously.

Ethan Wright : As weird as this lady is, I gotta give her props: that cat looks like it's in absolute ecstasy

Ganymede, Jupiter III : I think this "woman" is actually about 8 cats taped together with a mask.

Retro Cynical : This is no doubt the greatest video ever produced. It's also incredibly helpful. My cat and I are getting married next week.

mauriiispacehead : No one sent me here I googled this willingly

BugPope : Favorite part: "That says a lot about life, and about cat massage."

Chase Essary : i feel like i might be the only person that was actually looking up videos on 'how to massage my cat'.  i'm not crazy, he just gets stressed out sometimes.

Karl Cox : "use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun" .....I thought I was petting a cat

Jenni Niccum : oops I used lotions and oils on my cat

HotCocoaLover : I relate to this woman so much more strongly than I should. She is me. I am her.

Lonelycoast : "you can't fool drool" "MMMMMMMM"

Anthony Quintal : how did i get here

Julie Billingsley : "It's you Champer-damper, it's you."

Brian Tyler : That is amazing that Simon and Garfunkle wrote a song about cat massage.

Natani : Use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun. We touch all the time, so why not be the best at it? (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

fruit bat 🍒🦇 : it's you, champer damper. it's you.

MOONRUNNER REDLINE : this is how you get rid of unwanted guests

Ken Flask : so much innuendo...sooo little time

Scott Weidele : *tries to massage cat, is brutally mauled*

Ezdeen Ibrahim : HOLD ON, I'M CONFUSED... I'm right handed, should I use my left hand or my right foot? NEED A REPLY ASAP THIS IS CRUCIAL PLS

Duncanmn : @2:34 I love how the cat lifts his head, like, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Derek Thaw : After showing this to my cat, he got pissed that he wasn't the best cat in the United States. He hid. Haven't seen him in days. I think he's at a friend's place. If you find him let me know. He answers to Agent of Doom. Please halp!

CazzaMcSpazza : Sing it!! Who's the craziest cat lady in the United States?

morris : WISKER WATCH ALERT WEEE OOOO WEEE OOOO

Ken Chen : Yeah, I would be in the hospital if I do this with my cat.

Carley Sweeney : Who's the best cat in the United States its you champer damper

Susumu : "Cat massage will bring out his best meow moments" *CAT MEOWS LIKE IT'S IN THE WORST PAIN OF ITS LIFE*

Mikko : She looks like Elton John.

Robert Leite : Beastiality isn't legal

Jenni Niccum : champer damper

Little Miss Inquiry : I've got to go to the drooler to get my ring cleaned.

Elven Mage Jr : Her husband said, "It's either me or the cat." She picked the cat.

Snoofalah : Who's the best cat in the United States? It's you.

TerriblesHorse : I just laughed for 12 minutes straight. Thanks champer damper!

Victoria H : This seems like something that would be on Adult Swim at like 4am lol.

Marissa Cohen : I have memorized parts of the dialogue of this video I have seen it so much

The Littlest Winslow : This video makes me happy to be alive.

Viveret Steele : I bet the cat died mid production so they needed a plush to replace it

Angela Graves : This is goofy as heck, but I gotta say, that is one seriously happy cat.

Jake Stonebraker : ಠ_ಠ

Mudkip971 : 0:39 that technique is not only for cats ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Andy Houston : I think Champion has been drugged.

Michael Belangie : 2:23 "Kill me!"

Jimmy Rumbles : Someone doesn't need a man in their life..

Miyu Shinohara : "Use two hands to double your pleasure and double your fun!" ...

Alyssa Hurst : She could at least say hes the best cat in the world... just the USA.. .. weak

aptoh : uninstall life.exe

BOB LOBLAW : "Simply start from the base of the rump, rubbing your way out."

Ashley Pomeroy : To be fair, the cat seems to enjoy it. And if the relationship works for them, why not?