Maker Series: Artisanal Firewood | CBC Radio (Comedy/Satire)

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zerosonico : I dont have a firepalce, but I just wanted to say that I'm a vegan.

Shea Martin : Does anyone know if this product is gluten free?

John Croll : i was into this before it got poplar.

Jan Scott : I hate it when people burn common firewood. I insist my firewood have a hint of sage and blueberry. I'm saving some 1962 elm for that special occasion.

antagonizerr : That was funny as hell. Mostly because it touches so closely on reality, but partly because at first glance, you can't tell if it's real or satire. Kudos.

Steve Roberts : The ginger-rubbing was a nice touch.

NoPlaceForTheDead : He does good work. Like most of the artisan guys he's always been pretty expensive. In early 2014 we moved into our new house and I wanted something special to christen the fire pit with. I bought a nice bundle of kindling from him for $250. It's a bit more expensive now that he's gotten his name out there a little more. For logs that didn't really cut it as fuel-wood he'd still try to salvage them by whittling them down to the good parts to make his kindling. (I didn't buy fuel logs because even then it was more than I was willing to pay.) It was fantastic. First of all, they lit extremely cleanly and kept a small but strong flame. Since we were using my fire pit we didn't need tinder, but i imagine the kindling pieces I got from him would have taken to tinder as well as they took the lighter. The kindling was burning so nicely and precisely that I almost forgot to put our main logs on. Then I remember I was building a fire and didn't want to put the cheaper logs on. But, the show must continue. The lesser quality logs I had didn't impede the quality of the flame started by the kindling. In fact, I think the kindling flame upped the game of the cheaper logs. The fire kept a nice high quality, stead, hot, strong, flame bundle for a good half hour before the true (lesser) quality of the cheaper fuel logs started to come out. If you have a special event, or just want a treat for you and the family, I'd recommend getting a log or two from him to start your night with. Unless you are Bill Gates, this isn't an all night fuel source for a bonfire. But if you can afford a log, or if he still sells kindling, I say it's worth experiencing at least once.

Chris Trory : He was my lecturer in Firewood 101 when I did my B.Sc (Bachelor of Stove Combustion)

ryan clarke : I really dont know if this is real or not, I really dont.

Disco Stu : The best parodies are those ones that get you thinking ''Wait, is this real? Nononono, it cant be. But, maybe?? Nonononono, no way.''

Dan Wendlick : My guy has been working since 1973 and refuses to advertise.  We get to meet each log before he prepares it.

MooMofo : I lost it when I saw that $1200 price tag haha

Eureka MarUu : I'm gonna start selling "ULTRA Luxury handcrafted ROUGH HEWN" firewood for 1500 a bundle. The difference is that it's all chopped with a vintage axe and left in its all natural state; no drying involved guaranteed. For 2000 dollars a bundle I'll sell you straight logs; nature has put hundreds of years of all natural craftsmanship into every cubic inch.

CATBUG : Possibly the most pretentiously artistic thing I've ever seen.

Do you even Rift : not sure if satire or not

Brumfield85 : I'm a little concerned that I am unable to tell if this is real or not.

Arqen Acoustics : We're doing this for real on Vancouver Island, for the kindling niche. While they're making hipster vids, we're reading Elvish manuscripts to discover the perfect grain dynamics for your next wind-weathered, pine beetle-etched Douglas fir fire staff -- finished with a Sitka sap massage and Arbutus pollen rub, applied by wild bees.  Felled by beaver, hauled out by organic grass fed stallions with vibrant testicles. Authentic, artisanal elvin kindling. $10k.

Dankest Elf : Didn't expect CBC to do this level of satire... good on you

Osiris Malkovich : This reminds me of the "artisanal ice cubes" from a couple of years ago.

Jody Baker : This guy really nails the lumbersexual hipster

Morgan Montz : When he started rubbing it with ginger, I knew.

Scott Denton : This is a Portlandia sketch. I swear.

spiff2268 : There's a channel that does stuff like this better, but you've never heard of it.

Rabid Rabbi : The fact that people are taking this seriously is a credit to how great the satire is.

traveljunkie : Please tell me this is a parody!

Anonymous : This is a joke... Isn't it?? I can't tell! Well played.

Trap Music Now. : This video gives a whole new meaning to Artisanal. "Art is anal".

Erik Olson : is this a satire? (please say yes)

Martin Rayner : Hilarious. I wonder how many people will be fooled into thinking this is real and go off on some indignant tirade about it.

Ross Malagarie : I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS LITERALLY MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! SEND ME A 230K ORDER NOW!!!!

Silas ofNj : Artisinal Firewood was in back in like 2007. It's SO #Mainstream now.

Slavomir Durej : I imagine if this was real, a lot of Apple fans would buy those logs!

LoudandDave : Honestly here in Austin this could be a real thing.

Soulgraven : Can I get this at my Whole Foods? No price is too high.

Ann Le {Anneorshine} : LOL!!!

rocx conner : Wait is this a Satire or real?

Patrick Dugan : Guaranteed there are a whole bunch of people wondering "how can I order some?" Probably in Brooklyn...

Pr3ssPl4y : Those who think this is real. I've got a bridge to sell you and it's made of artisanal firewood.

Guillaume Keyes : Seriously scared by the amount of people taking this as a real thing

Ernie Velveeta : I know this is satire, but I can't help feeling that there are some hipsters out there who will get excited over this.

Christopher Tiihonen : We just burn old furniture. Works for us.

1234567890sunshine : If a tree falls down in the forest and nobody hears it, does a hipster buy its album?

Arensi : King Robert Baratheon?

cugamer : The best part was when he put the $1200.00 price tag on the wood. But he better watch out. If Whole Foods catches wind of this they'll sue him for ripping off their business model.

locateyourhuevos : I like the apprentice who has to wash the wood by hand in a big soapy tub.

sapherno11 : You know, for all the people out there who rant and rave about how "stupid" this is, just some things to point out. Firstly, when something says a company sells something for X amount of dollars, they USUALLY pick the most expensive thing possible. Secondly, why is this so stupid? Art is literally color smeared on a page. Martial arts are nothing but moving your body around in the air. Music is nothing but random sound in what happens to be a pleasing series of notes. Art is literally TIME. That's all it is. Time you put into something you love to do. Art is what it is because it MEANS something to someone. This guy, regardless if its expensive or not, pours his heart into making the stuff, and hey, he can sell it for what he wants. That's his right. If you think its stupid, hey, do the same thing, pour the same amount of time into a log, and sell it for the same price.

Jamie Holmes : I need to save up for one of those logs there and hear the story that every piece tells.

Larry McBride : This is a joke right? its got to be. I sold firewood as a sidejob in highschool. each "Rick" (a 4 foot by 8 foot pile) is worth about 60$. this man is a thief, one split log for 1200 dollars? it costs him less than a dollar per piece of wood, unless he's buying carving or crafting wood and why would you burn it. couple bucks for that ginger. unless that soap water is made of distilled saint tears and gold flake he's charging roughly 1190 for an hour or so of his time. he charges more by the hour than surgeons or lawyers. that being said I guess I've got to open the second artisanal firewood store in North America. I will beat his price by 400$ with shipping included or your money back.

wolfpeni : "I started smoking flame in 2012"

Aspetuck Antiques : When I started watching this, I thought it completely believable. Regardless of the economic climate, there will always be those who will spend obscene amounts of money on pretentious products. He should release a new item to his line; called "Morning Wood" with the pungent smell of smokehouse bacon and of freshly brewed mountain-grown artisanal coffee, hand-rubbed to climax in each piece of Morning Wood, to accompany the scintillating afterglow of the night before.