Potion Seller

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Cobalt Falcon : Terrible salesman

Jiggy Wiggy ASMR : This has to be one of my favorite one-man sketches on YouTube

earthtoterra : this is the opposite of a cursed video

Ben Harris : I hope the Potion Seller becomes an easter egg NPC in the next Elder Scrolls, just standing there refusing to sell his potions

Lord Zylok : I made the potion seller a travelling merchant in my DnD game. If the pc:s somehow get their hands on his strongest potions and drink them, they will basically explode if they fail their STR save. If they survive, they get a permanent stat increase.

kristine : after all these years, its still a masterpiece

Gutsy : Fallout 4 dialogue

shurdi3 : Why not just water down the potions?

BruceWillakers : Holy shit man. This is so good.

LordLukste : How cute, he's roleplaying as TES Oblivion characters. Even the eldritch facial features!

Damon Lennox : lol my manager made me play this after the store closed and couldn't stop laughing. Meanwhile I'm just really fucking confused.

Formless Oedon : Potion Seller was in the right here. He has the right to deny sale to any customer. The knight should have just gone to another supplier.

Matt Kenney : I really want Bethesda to have him voice a potion merchant in the next Elder Scrolls

Zap Rowsdower : How is this a sustainable business model

Samuel Niemiec : Such passion.... Such emotion....

Patrick Cruser : Me trying to buy pre-workout at GNC

CaptainSkelebones : you are a real life oblivion character

Not Your Crony : "The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion" Remastered is looking great...

Jaquiline Kangas : I like how he started out thinking it was hilarious, and then ended up actually getting upset.

dankdari : I see bethesda's character design has improved!

meliiixa : POUTCHION SELLAH!!

ALTO The Dragonborn : So this is what happens when auto play is left on...

Skim : He's got better chances of winning an Oscar than Leo has.

taz : hi creator of this video. my dad and stepmom just had a baby she is 3 months old and i love her very much. my baby sister! i have performed portions of this video for her -- recited from memory -- on at least 4 occasions, and she absolutely LOVES it she gives me her big gummy smile and coos until i continue!! her favorite part is "potion seller.... enough of these GAMES" so anyway thanks for helping me make this baby sister of mine smile!!

I hate all of you : The new Elder Scrolls is looking fantastic.

Nick Wright's Conscience : He sounds like Ramsay from Game of thrones lmao

Princess Harmony Moonlight : The egg lord sent me here!

Bawwbeh : He goes from stoic to amused to exasperated to sorrow to rage and then horror. This is the greatest, most emotionally driven story I have ever seen.

Mad Hatter : I randomly stumbled across this video about a week ago, and have not been able to stop watching it. Please send help.

Becca bluh : "Potion seller," The man, perhaps only two Ells tall called as he entered the cozy shop. He was clad in common armor, sweat dripping down his pinched face as he spoke once more and closed the curtain behind himself. "I am going into battle, and I need your strongest potion." He announced boldly, squaring his shoulders neatly and looking as if he had the world at his feet. His eyes were determined as the gazed at the potion seller, taking a couple valiant strides forward. “My potions are too strong for you, traveler.” The man said calmly, lip flapping neatly. “Potion seller,” He tried, his hope fading just a tad from those deep brown eyes. “I tell you I am going into battle,” He continued, his eyes growing wide with desperation. “But, I want only your strongest potions.” The man leaned in close, smiling bitterly. “You can’t handle my potions, they’re too strong for you.” He replied, narrowing his eyes slightly. It was so obvious how irritable the man was; passionate for his hard work and dedication to a business so heavily weighed upon strength. “Potion seller, listen to me!” The man said, biting back frustration with a slight laugh. “I want only your strongest potions.” He finished, that beautiful light from his eyes continually dimming like the other man’s patience. “My potions would kill you, traveler. You cannot handle my potions.” He spoke smoothly, obviously not giving up his argument. The seller studied the traveler, taking in his looks. The man was too common to be in his shop. “Potion seller,” He started boldly, puffing up his chest to some extent. “Enough of these games. I’m going to battle, and I need your strongest potions.” He continued, determination set in the scrunch between his eyebrows. “My strongest potions would kill you, traveler! You can’t handle _my_ strongest potions, you better go to a seller that sells weaker potions!” He said, shaking his head in denial with a slight grin. The man took a breath, exhaling and starting again. “..Potion seller, I’m telling you right now,” His voice softens, easier on the ears now. “I’m going into battle, and I need only your strongest potions.” He breathed, fists clenching slightly and heart rate picking up. “You don’t know what you asked, traveler..” He began ominously, eyes darkening. “My strongest potions would kill a dragon, let alone a man!” He near yelled, squaring his bony shoulders. “You need a new seller that sells weaker potions, because my potions,” he took a breath, “are too _strong_!” The man looked taken aback, letting out a slight breath of devastation. “Potion seller, I’m _telling you_ I need your _strongest potions_!” The man replied in a sad tone, looking on the verge of tears. “I’m going into battle… I’m going to battle and _I need your _strongest_ potions_!” It wasn’t a single second before the potion seller was replying, obviously angered by this behavior. “You can’t handle my strongest potions! No one can!” He roared, standing from his stool. “My strongest potions are fit for a beast, let alone a man!” “Potion seller, what do I have to tell you to get your potions!?” the man whined, wiping at his nose. “Why won’t you trust me with your strongest potions, potion seller- I need them if I am to be successful in the battle!” He cried, now shedding tears. His once confident form was now bent with sadness. “I can’t give you my strongest potions because my strongest potions are only for the strongest beings, and you are of the weakest!” He exclaimed finally, slamming his hands on the counter. Silence briefly ensued, before it was broken by the traveler, now torn. “Well then that’s it, potion seller. I’ll go elsewhere.” He stated, biting at his lip and stepping back. “..I’ll go elsewhere for my potions.” He added, sighing out as he turned away. “That is what you’d better do.” He replied, no care in his tone whatsoever. “I’ll go elsewhere and I’ll never come back!” The man replied, trying to entice him. “Good! You are not welcome here! My potions are only for the strongest and you are clearly the weakest.” He batted back, sitting back down and pulling his stool back to the worn counter. “You’ve had your say, potion teller, but I will have mine.” The man turned around, cape flowing behind him as he narrowed his eyes. “You’re a rascal. You are a rascal with no respect for knights! No respect for.. Anything,” He broke down, face pinching up as he began to sob. “Anything but your potions!” The man paused, then spoke and flashed him a glare. “Why respect knights, when my potions can do anything that you can?”

OnlyTheDankestOfMemes : THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT ALL THE TIME

Tyler C : EGG ARMY UNTIE

Gabeux : When 2 NPCs in Skyrim or Oblivion start arguing.

Tsukasa Sagawa : This was a roller coaster of emotion from beginning to end, a true master peice.

Angry Egg : a mass effect meme brought me here im d y i n g

atimholt : I sincerely hope to overhear this conversation in Elder Scrolls VI.

bob ria : based on a true story

Floppy Rodrigo : 2:31 If he goes Elsweyr, Khajiit has potions if he has coin.

Clay Young : Who was in the wrong?

richard clark : When you have lots of magic items but the DM refuse to give more.

Marcus M : you must construct additional pylons before you can handle potions such as these

Fckin Weeb : enough of these gamezzz

Meta Knight : Potion Seller did literally nothing wrong.

plastic powder : the princess bride + oblivion = perfect acting and form of human body best. forever.

Eikan Yanagi : im glad this exist

Grymm Rhoninn : I came here looking for Simons home brew. Was not disappointed

Trenton Clark : The bead of sweat on the tip of his nose is fantastic.

Daniel Negron : Thanks Egg

AlexSaysHi2013 : This is how I am buying potions in DnD from now on

Dave Scalise : potion seller pls