Potion Seller

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Cobalt Falcon : Terrible salesman

Go to jail : ★☆☆☆☆ "Came for strong potions to succeed in my battle but received none and was insulted! Not coming back!" -Legendary Knight 09/22/11

earthtoterra : this is the opposite of a cursed video

Becca bluh : "Potion seller," The man, perhaps only two Ells tall called as he entered the cozy shop. He was clad in common armor, sweat dripping down his pinched face as he spoke once more and closed the curtain behind himself. "I am going into battle, and I need your strongest potion." He announced boldly, squaring his shoulders neatly and looking as if he had the world at his feet. His eyes were determined as the gazed at the potion seller, taking a couple valiant strides forward. “My potions are too strong for you, traveler.” The man said calmly, lip flapping neatly. “Potion seller,” He tried, his hope fading just a tad from those deep brown eyes. “I tell you I am going into battle,” He continued, his eyes growing wide with desperation. “But, I want only your strongest potions.” The man leaned in close, smiling bitterly. “You can’t handle my potions, they’re too strong for you.” He replied, narrowing his eyes slightly. It was so obvious how irritable the man was; passionate for his hard work and dedication to a business so heavily weighed upon strength. “Potion seller, listen to me!” The man said, biting back frustration with a slight laugh. “I want only your strongest potions.” He finished, that beautiful light from his eyes continually dimming like the other man’s patience. “My potions would kill you, traveler. You cannot handle my potions.” He spoke smoothly, obviously not giving up his argument. The seller studied the traveler, taking in his looks. The man was too common to be in his shop. “Potion seller,” He started boldly, puffing up his chest to some extent. “Enough of these games. I’m going to battle, and I need your strongest potions.” He continued, determination set in the scrunch between his eyebrows. “My strongest potions would kill you, traveler! You can’t handle _my_ strongest potions, you better go to a seller that sells weaker potions!” He said, shaking his head in denial with a slight grin. The man took a breath, exhaling and starting again. “..Potion seller, I’m telling you right now,” His voice softens, easier on the ears now. “I’m going into battle, and I need only your strongest potions.” He breathed, fists clenching slightly and heart rate picking up. “You don’t know what you asked, traveler..” He began ominously, eyes darkening. “My strongest potions would kill a dragon, let alone a man!” He near yelled, squaring his bony shoulders. “You need a new seller that sells weaker potions, because my potions,” he took a breath, “are too _strong_!” The man looked taken aback, letting out a slight breath of devastation. “Potion seller, I’m _telling you_ I need your _strongest potions_!” The man replied in a sad tone, looking on the verge of tears. “I’m going into battle… I’m going to battle and _I need your _strongest_ potions_!” It wasn’t a single second before the potion seller was replying, obviously angered by this behavior. “You can’t handle my strongest potions! No one can!” He roared, standing from his stool. “My strongest potions are fit for a beast, let alone a man!” “Potion seller, what do I have to tell you to get your potions!?” the man whined, wiping at his nose. “Why won’t you trust me with your strongest potions, potion seller- I need them if I am to be successful in the battle!” He cried, now shedding tears. His once confident form was now bent with sadness. “I can’t give you my strongest potions because my strongest potions are only for the strongest beings, and you are of the weakest!” He exclaimed finally, slamming his hands on the counter. Silence briefly ensued, before it was broken by the traveler, now torn. “Well then that’s it, potion seller. I’ll go elsewhere.” He stated, biting at his lip and stepping back. “..I’ll go elsewhere for my potions.” He added, sighing out as he turned away. “That is what you’d better do.” He replied, no care in his tone whatsoever. “I’ll go elsewhere and I’ll never come back!” The man replied, trying to entice him. “Good! You are not welcome here! My potions are only for the strongest and you are clearly the weakest.” He batted back, sitting back down and pulling his stool back to the worn counter. “You’ve had your say, potion teller, but I will have mine.” The man turned around, cape flowing behind him as he narrowed his eyes. “You’re a rascal. You are a rascal with no respect for knights! No respect for.. Anything,” He broke down, face pinching up as he began to sob. “Anything but your potions!” The man paused, then spoke and flashed him a glare. “Why respect knights, when my potions can do anything that you can?”

Jiggy Wiggy ASMR : This has to be one of my favorite one-man sketches on YouTube

Lord Zylok : I made the potion seller a travelling merchant in my DnD game. If the pc:s somehow get their hands on his strongest potions and drink them, they will basically explode if they fail their STR save. If they survive, they get a permanent stat increase.

Formless Oedon : Potion Seller was in the right here. He has the right to deny sale to any customer. The knight should have just gone to another supplier.

Lewis Gads : this is how I imagine buying drugs works.

ThePointlessBox_ : If a man with that chin cant handle them then nobody can

BruceWillakers : Holy shit man. This is so good.

Tokyo Mobster : I want this kind of YouTube again

LordLukste : How cute, he's roleplaying as TES Oblivion characters. Even the eldritch facial features!

shurdi3 : Why not just water down the potions?

Gutsii : Fallout 4 dialogue

Zap Rowsdower : How is this a sustainable business model

Samuel Niemiec : Such passion.... Such emotion....

TRIPLE H JULY 18 : hi creator of this video. my dad and stepmom just had a baby she is 3 months old and i love her very much. my baby sister! i have performed portions of this video for her -- recited from memory -- on at least 4 occasions, and she absolutely LOVES it she gives me her big gummy smile and coos until i continue!! her favorite part is "potion seller.... enough of these GAMES" so anyway thanks for helping me make this baby sister of mine smile!!

CaptainSkelebones : you are a real life oblivion character

Not Your Crony : "The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion" Remastered is looking great...

Thisispatricc : Hoping for an easteregg in the next elder scrolls game

Sennacherib : The potion seller sounds like a voice actor from oblivion

ALTO The Dragonborn : So this is what happens when auto play is left on...

Floppy Rodrigo : 2:31 If he goes Elsweyr, Khajiit has potions if he has coin.

Jaquiline Kangas : I like how he started out thinking it was hilarious, and then ended up actually getting upset.

Damon Lennox : lol my manager made me play this after the store closed and couldn't stop laughing. Meanwhile I'm just really fucking confused.

Battle : The new Elder Scrolls is looking fantastic.

Adeline : i love how he ends up laughing than crying. lmao.

Marcus M : you must construct additional pylons before you can handle potions such as these

Bawwbeh : He goes from stoic to amused to exasperated to sorrow to rage and then horror. This is the greatest, most emotionally driven story I have ever seen.

bowskiblog : It's a niche market he's appealing to but like anything rare, he can command a good price for his rare and exotic potions. I'm sure our Potion Seller is successful in his trade.

atimholt : I sincerely hope to overhear this conversation in Elder Scrolls VI.

richard clark : When you have lots of magic items but the DM refuse to give more.

did you see my supersuit? : POUTCHION SELLAH!!

Drunk Asian : In a perfect world potion sellers would sell their strongest potions... But this is not a perfect world

De Potter M. : [ 𝐑 𝐀 𝐒 𝐂 𝐀 𝐋 ]

Heran Hull : On 2:50 you can clearly see his eyebrows make the wings of an eagle and the nose the body

Tippu : Denial - 0:33 Anger- 0:44 Bargaining- 1:58 Depression- 2:12 Acceptance- 2:25

Ben Harris : I hope the Potion Seller becomes an easter egg NPC in the next Elder Scrolls, just standing there refusing to sell his potions

Meta Knight : Potion Seller did literally nothing wrong.

Mad Hatter : I randomly stumbled across this video about a week ago, and have not been able to stop watching it. Please send help.

F0rtune : Oblivion Character Creator in a nutshell

Fckin Weeb : enough of these gamezzz

The Gabeux : When 2 NPCs in Skyrim or Oblivion start arguing.

bob ria : based on a true story

Princess Harmony Moonlight : The egg lord sent me here!


Taras Guanowsky : My interpretation: The man going into battle is attempting suicide. He is a coward, who is afraid of battle. He seeks the powerful potions as a means of suicide. He tries to pass off as a confident and brave warrior- perhaps to die as the man he aspires to be. It's quite sad, really.

Dankglas Quaid : Elder Scrolls VI dialogue options are looking good

SomethingToFear : It's nice to see James Van Der Beek is still acting.

plastic powder : the princess bride + oblivion = perfect acting and form of human body best. forever.