"AUSTRALIA'S DEADLIEST ANIMALS" - SONG
AUSTRALIAS DEADLIEST ANIMALS SONG

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A song about all the wonderful things that Australia has to offer. FULL CREDITS BELOW: Written and Performed by Christiaan Van Vuuren. Animated by Connor Van Vuuren. Recorded and Mixed by Alex Mills at Song Zu. Backing Track is 'Payday' by Jason Farnham: https://youtu.be/-96SMUqYA1k FULL LYRICS BELOW: VERSE 1: In Australia we've got deadly animals a plenty. We've got funnel web spiders who'll murder you and your family. Under every second rock is a red back spider. And they’ll kill ya just cause, I dunno, they're bored or whatever. We got invisible brown snakes who'll bite you on the foot, And you’ll be dead in seven minutes, like that, kaput. We've got the world's deadliest creatures all over the place. We've got magpies who'll steal the eyeballs from your face - But at least we don't have AR-15's. VERSE 2: We've got great white sharks who'll ascend from the deep, And rip ya in half with their razor sharp teeth. We've got salt water crocs who'll death-roll you to death, and sea-snakes who'll gladly snatch your last breath.  We've got a blue ringed octopus no bigger than this, that just sits around in rock pools waiting to kill kids. And even the platypus, a cute beaver-duck thing, has got a spur on it’s ankle that’ll kill ya in one sting.  But at least we don't have AR-15's. And at least they can't end up in the hands of psychopathic teens. VERSE 3: We've got stonefish and stingrays and sea-urchins and shit, and hectic fucken homicidal box jellyfish, and these Jellyfish they aren’t even sentient beings, they don’t even really do stuff or know about things.  They just float around on the whim of the currents, being pointless non-cognitive murderous cunts. And if that weren't enough in terms of natural hazards, here in Australia the sun causes cancer. But at least we don't have AR-15's. And at least they can't end up in the hands of suicidal teens. And at least we don't have an NRA, who pay millions of dollars every day, buying off politicians not to change old laws. VERSE 4: We got bull sharks, cone shells, salt water crocodiles. Honey bees, european wasps, and blue ringed octopi's. Death adders, blue bottles, red back spiders. Tiger sharks, tiger snakes, and lizards that'll bite ya.  We got Sea snakes, taipans, cassowaries, copperheads, all the creatures of the land and sky and sea that want you dead. Toadfish, stonefish, irukandgi jellyfish - Bull ants, centipedes, and ticks that cause paralysis.  But thank fuck we don't have AR-15's. And thank fuck they can't end up in the hands psychopathic suicidal teens. And thank fuck we don't have an NRA, who pay millions of dollars every day, buying off politicians not to change some law.  A law that was written 200 years ago, in a time when it took three minutes to reload, a single round of ammunition, and we knew nothing about depression, and you couldn't fire 45 rounds in sixty seconds. And there wasn't even such a thing as automatic weapons. And there weren't thirty one mass-shootings monthly… but what would I know cause I'm from another country.

Comments

ExtinctSombra : Ooooooooohhhhhh shots fired! not in Australia of course

Mr Pink : Lmao I live in America and this is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen

BEEAR : Please stand up for the Australian national anthem

cookie sqaud : I didnt hear him say hot concrete and im Australian so i know its deadly as fk

slitza : I legit thought the song would go ".. at least we don't have A I D S"

zdcgbkm dh : y’all forgot the bloody needles in our strawberries

ButterCubes : The only thing worse than these animals is Bunnings putting onions on the bottom of the sausage instead of the top.

donttalkaboutbtstomeinnonbtsvideo girl : In this list, the magpie is what scares most Australians.

Toru4 : Would be very awkward if this song was about New Zealand instead of Australia. Just for jokes, welcome to the internet

RustyTheSunWolf : you forgot to mention the molten roads in the middle of summer

Joredyn Kama : They should make this our national anthem. Like if you agree.

אלעד בלום : Where are emus? They won a war against australia😂😂

Ethan Arrow : “And hectic fuckin homicidal box jellyfish” This is the best thing I’ve heard in a song

Random Fandom Thot : 0:40 *they just got us and nobody is talking about it-*

Northern YEET : here's a lesson USA. someone bothering you? Punch them in the face. dont pull out a firearm and put 50 bullets in them.

Penguin King : You missed the 31 prime ministers we have each month

Jessica Bruno : I’m not even Australian but I laughed so hard😂

hamdish2004 : 0/10 not enough warnings about terror inducing magpies

Mr glados : I hope lazarbeam seez this

Hayden Williams : you forgot the bloody bindies

Van Vuuren Bros : This comments section is saltier than a salt-water crocodile.

sixstringedthing : I came here all fired up and prepared to accuse you of ripping off the Scaredies. But you won my heart with your honest and straightforward presentation.. Well done lads. Well done. Edit: ...that hilarious moment when you realise that the creator's response to saltiness in the comment section has saltier replies than the original salty comments.

Lance Jeren : I'm Australian And I Found This Very Accurate.

MookyMook [Music] : At least we don’t have AR-15’s!

rawr : Guess thats why Brenton had to go to New Zealand

Julian Cavaleri : If you really think about it it's almost like the world doesnt want humans on australia lmao

The Blue Chicken : The NRA isint bad though. They fund so many things for our shotgun team

ed_dude12 0.1 : AR-15 is a semi automatic rifle.

Ghost Panther : The only thing that is dangerous than all these animals are FURRYS

Sparks990 : A moment of slience for the Christchurch shooting... by an Australian...

MERICAman 22 : It's a very dark song but the tune is so happy

Max Bryant : I’m an Aussie and this is pretty accurate... lol 😆

Nick Scalzo : all P platers who have xr6 or Commodore utes are pretty deadly ay

TheNames James : Posted 12 months ago. But not a year

fudge games : the part when he said all the creatures of the land sky and sea that want you dead cracked me up XD

bossatronkitty : In America we have a worse animal Politics

Atomic 0589 : Mate wait stop! Bill Shorton is going to take you away for "Discouraging The Tourists"

JayTheMlgamer : This should be the Australian national anthem

Potato Thing : HE GOT ME WTF WITH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS

Spec Scout : Don't forget about the needle strawberry the most dangerous animal.

maipe tallis : I’m so done with America’s gun laws, I’m moving to Australia! _immediately gets eaten by a magpie_

GenX Wolverine : This is straight heat🔥

tamati aurisch : I walked home today and only got bit 5 times by spiders

SARDONUS : Australian Gun Stores: Customer: I need a gun Clerk: Well what are you looking for? Customer: *leans in and whispers* I need a pistol. Clerk: Sorry sir, Semi Automatic guns are illegal, but we could give you this *pulls out Sniper Rifle*

Some Person. : Oooooooh shots fired! *BUT AT LEAST WE DON'T HAVE AR-15'S!!!!!!*

Bright Atlas : In Australia, School shooting doesn't exist No Children just throw spiders at the bullies School Zoo-ings

aiden p : When the youtube recommendations do something right for once

Capitalist Critic Pyro : I'm all for AR15s but this is funny. I also live in Australia and let me tell you, the most dangerous beings are the magpies.

SS Soulja : Atleast we dont have AR-15 😂😂😂 yeh mate