John Swartzwelder - Audio Commentary
John Swartzwelder writer of over 50 Simpsons episodes including the highest rated ones is notoriously recluse This is the only known recording of him and it is only his voice

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Excerpt from the audio commentary of The Simpsons episode The Cartridge Family, S09E05. Property of Twentieth Century Fox.


Miss Dee : That line telling them it's a shame this isn't really John Swartzwelder is so great. lol. Perfect way to keep the myth alive. I love reclusive talents.

cheez_munky : The weirdest, funniest stuff on the Simpsons, its almost always thanks to John Swartzwelder.

Keith L. : John Swartzwelder, The J.D. Salinger of Comedy!

Xian : I think it was him, he identified himself as John and I think his last line was a joke and so they all laughed.  Then "Bye John" and "I know he's gonna sue us".  Plus they worked with him for years so my guess is they'd know if it was someone else.

Pregnant Sausage : THIS is NOT John Swartzwelder people. It was a running joke.

Wayne Kerr : Oh wow its great to hear the commentary and hear the brains of the people behind The Simpsons, you really get an idea of where the jokes come from these guys have a great sense of humour

nypad5 : after watching simpsons all my life... rewatching episodes is only justified with commentary now.. its just makes the old episodes a little new-er to me. so far the best commentaries are the ones with John Lovitz... He makes fun of Mike Reiss and Al Jean. So fucking funny.

ChimpWithACar : John sounds an awful lot like Norm Macdonald.

Vinod Shekar : A hardcore libertarian apparently.

Samalamalamdam : How To Get Rich Writing Cartoons by John Swartzwelder.

despot roast : Simpsons' Thomas Pynchon

Rockorange : I like to call him.. The Mystery Man!!

Drac39 : He doesn't exist

Gesse Mander : he is the most wanted person

Flashy Thing : Goddammit I love John. I found out that this commentary existed because I've never heard him before. I've got to get season 9 again.

Trevor Philips : yeah.

SethHesio : He sounds far too normal! Genius.

nameismymike : nope

JackFan11 : His episodes are the best ones. I like the story of how he used to write the show in a booth at a local restaurant just drinking coffee and smoking. Under appreciated legend.

Octavio Bannach : F*cking. Hero.

Kroney : The Simpsons rose and fell with him!

Dave Wolever : This badass is the best Simpsons writer of all times

frysdog93 : He sounds much more pleasant than I thought he would.

allaboutdmagic : Oh yes yes yes. I've been waiting for someone enterprising to put this up on da 'Tube.

SMACK! : "It's too bad this really isn't John Swartzwelder though" XD

yertoik : best simpsons episode ever

kidpresentable : This wasn't really him, was it?

Michael P. Shipley : Reminds me of Joe Dirt. Five minutes later thugs show up at his house and try to plug him but he gets away. Thats why he was so reclusive. Thanks guys!

Metaluna Zombie : mystery man

Tansen Denbor : How strange!

Chris Simpson : Greatest writer in the history of the show.

Dan Roche : See I know it's not Swartzwelder because he gets his steak raw, bites it right from the cow he does, tenderizing it himself with fists of wrought iron

Luke Colin Tieppo : Hmm now isn't that face familiar. The reason this guy is so secretive is because he is supposed to be dead.

billy lilly : Cant stand him as a person but he was Great  for the simpsons