Bribed her way into college

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[Day 29 of 312] Classic. At the very least, I beat SNL to the punch. Dedicated to Sammi

Comments from Youtube

Noah Basil : Hey Max! Im moving to Korea in August and I'm really looking forward to it. You've really inspired me to better myself and be the best me I can be. And I really hope to find that abroad. I've commented on your videos a few times and i definitely plan to keep up with your work. I'm excited to take Value Select abroad. To show the M A S S E S. be well, Max -Noah

Dan_Infinite : “Breaking News: Rich Celebrity uses vast wealth to buy their dumb child into college to the surprise of about 8 people. We have a quote from the dean of admissions who said in a press conference this evening who stated “I love money” and went back into his office.

Bryton Holley : “It really is, as simple as that”

Devin Morgan : Illiteracy is rampant in the Value Selectiverse

Tazersguad : Gazette Select is the only news I TRUST

Braxton Schultz : Topical. Nice one.

CivPr0 : I hate youtube... Because it does not notify me of any of you finely constructed pieces of art anymore

DOPLEX : how do i bribe my way into Value Select University? (VSU)

Yves D'Orsi : The apology to the student was in Chinese. LOL

Morphrana : Let it be known that Value Select isn't just a funny comedy channel that everyone should subscribe to, it's also a news channel!

Thomas Shirota : Loving those props!

bitwize01 : Will you be my valentine?

Greg Caceres : Of the recommended videos I screen after watching, four remain. None of them are VS. The spiritual warfare is deliberate.

PHS Disses : Could someone explain the context for this, I haven't been following this story much and I wanna fully appreciate the comedy gold this channel has to offer.

Mike Manfrin : That's some hard hitting social commentary in the punchline there, Max.

Ralph Smit : Gazette select, the second most reliable news source next to pew news.

Sammi Bo-Bammi : The lipstick made it for me. One of my favorite skits of yours to date.

Reinboa : Value Select! Bringing you topical jokes by the hour!

Benjamin Burt : a nuclear powered aircraft carrier

JWalty : why Mandarin

Ed : Accurate.

Allex Verge : You make me want to be a better person.

DillonMHughes : How is one man capable of pulling off so many hairstyles with such consistent ease and panache? Better sacrifice a comment about it to earn such blessings.

Buttery Chops : Another comment

jdogchamp622 : Very quick on the draw dad. Id only seen reports about this story a few hours ago

iamerichearmeroar : The only things I can count on in this world of cryptocommie fake news are the morning funnies and Gazette Select.

stave : Sacrificial comment 4

Green Flamingo Entertainment : (((Dont tell anyone about elite university nepotism )))

Jordan : What language is that at the end? My first guess was Yiddish but I don’t think so

Nathan Crowell : The scions of the house of Grimes, and the house of Bezos, ended up becoming total cum-pumps. They listened to beautiful music and jammed shit in their noses, tearing through The Neveragain, in a black-plate Mercado. Their debauchery was legendary. Even the time hackers from the cube had heard of them.

Youssef Ramahi : Tough shit, sweaty