Jordan B. Peterson reads you a bedtime story

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My impression of Dr. Jordan B. Peterson reading the Three Little Pigs. Script written by reddit user: /u/superconductiverabbi Apologies to Professor Peterson.


advancedlamb : the burger king way of making it sound was a little better

BiggieB : this was great the first one was legendary. uncanny to the point of being surreal

J FU : Lmao the ending was the best. Oh are you asleep? Aha gotcha

Caleb Pearl : I'm crying with laughter. This is going to hit 10 million views.

Sweenz Seven : The Three Little Pigs is a powerful verbal tradition carrying the traditional, subconscious awareness of world cultures throughout a millennia to clean your room.

Gabriel Alfaia : I mean, they are pigs... That's no joke,man.

Funaru : You should ask Freedom Toons for a collab - he's done some videos with a halfly decent Peterson impression in them but nothing can beat yours! His Shapiro is on point though, so this would be a perfect combination. :)

Rationalific : This is still great, but not quite up to the level of the Burger King one, which could fool pretty much anyone. I think you may be trying a bit too hard with this one, especially the extra stress (like "so WHAT are we gonna DO?") on certain words (which you did perfectly in the Burger King one, but is done a bit too harshly here). Also, I find that the more technical and jargon-filled vocabulary makes for better impressions (and the Burger King one had more of that). If you had the Burger King script written for you, see if you can team up with that person again. I think you can really become popular for your Jordan Peterson impressions. Just don't turn your impression into an impression. Keep it real, and you'll be fine, as you're still the best one out there that I've ever heard.

Mr.Pat : The first impression was better.

Spideysenses67 : This was so close to being accurate that it is scary.

Pyagrl*16 : I'll have to stop listening to this and resume in the morning. Everyone's asleep and I want to scream after every sentence, this is so brilliant.

Chuu Etteck My R : Dude you need to do an hour long bit on this idea XD

Jan Jegen : The burger king one took me a while to even comprehend it was an impression

Christian Wilson : Damn this is very impressive. Bruh do Joe Rogan and it'll be a hit. Or Ben Shapiro. Or whatever you want, this stuff is great keep on keepin on

Tony Hope : Spot on man. I mean seriously.

Jim Crow : Very nice, though it seemed like you lost your mental image a few times. This is a bit different from his usual though so it's harder hold on to.

John Constantine : Aha. Gotcha! This is fantastic.

Tyro Pico : Slow speed to 0.75 lol

t_Error : This is — wh-what would you call it — hilarious.

Maceo Gray : lol

Peter Johnson : "Is that a product from single motherhood you ask? The pigs search for their father but they find the wolf. The wolf represents the GULAGs which are the archetypcal structure of my home. My wife won't stop telling me what to do which castrated me in early childhood, methaphoricaly speaking, like the pigs. It was hard. So damn hard being a child in Canada and if you read about the GULAGs you know because you have the communist party which are my mother-in-law, my wife and now my daughter and poor castrated me . As you know Carl Jung once said in his famous book "The cure for faggots" that castration is the only sure path to salvation methaphoricaly speaking. That's why I became Kermit the Frog because I met my wife before reaching puberty and she did what she knows best - castration. And that's when you realize you have the potential to be something. You can't be Peter Pan forever and you become Kermit. Bloody Kermit for God's sake! And it is not easy. I can tell you because I've been a clinical psychologist for over 30 years and a patient with mental health issues for over 40. The moment I stopped taking my pills they called me from the University of Toronto. I had the needed level of retardation to teach in UT but I asked them about the GULAGs and they told me that communism has ended. I realized that I can get much more money and even save as much by not taking my Xanax." -Peter Jordonson ( Jordan Peterson's DID persona)

Matthew Ferris : I love this - your vocabulary and intonation are perfect. Definitely deserves more views

Brandon Ette : We live in a "Transcendental Metaphysical Hierarchy of ACTIONS and Responsibilities. Pay your debts, and Give to everyone. Clean your Room, and receive your Recompense."

John Smith : you are my favorite human

Stephen Lynx : The burger king one sounds better, IMO.

Joshua Bailey : Ha, gotcha!

David Runtic : Any chance you could do a collab with dogbeef or SHAMIEN? I bet it would be absolutely hilarious combining your voice with their memes.

Lauryn White : Somebody please show Jordan this, this is amazing 😂😂

Justin Yates : dude this is so amazingly well done, so so fkn amazing

A R : Ill be a regular now see you next vid

Janez : This one has more of a "reading the script" feeling, but Burger King also had more context to make it funnier.


BEANO THE GREAT : Wow this is great dude

Hunter Joyce : This is amazing!! Great work. :D

mo mat : This is bloody accurate

Traplover7 : It would be mad funny if you said things that's the opposite of JP's ideology in his voice lmao

ItDoesn'tReallyMatter : Make fun of people on discord like that soundboard guy but you're indistinguishable.


Tate Wick : Keep making videos dude

Tony Dinh : Scaffolding. A-ha! Gotchu.

michaelterry1000 : Bravo, that was not only very clever but you did what I thought to be impossible. Both supporters and adversaries of Peterson will enjoy this.

BJ Hamaker : This was magnificent. Thank you.

Ryan Task : Jesus Christ this is fantastic

Robert Baur : ok..ok.. Now the reality assumes objective capacity for three animals to build houses. Fist ok I don't want to get ahead of my self now because its important not to gloss OVER the main point The pigs are entrusted to build houses for themselves in which to live. And what does a house represent? Well its a living place a habitat a place where you spend a good proportion of your time. Its the psychological representation or embodiment of of one's own general conscious existence which we all know is mysterious like REALLY mysterious. The houses will represent in each case (mind you) what kind of standards by which the pigs will live by The are literally building their entire identities and making a stand in ONE place almost as if to announce to the world and to themselves "THIS is who I am YES!" One builds his house out of straw one out of sticks and the other out of bricks. What does this begin to look like now if you really think about it.. a dominance hierarchy yes! Straw! (the weakest) second sticks...a little stronger more durable than straw..and Bricks YES bricks the strongest material Ok so the materials are chosen literally... in... that... ORDER The story indicates that such a hierarchy is natural by depicting pigs to exemplify the main characters rather than humans whom and whom normally live in a sty rather than houses as people do. Animals are generally thought of a being in the natural world. Though the story could just as easily have used lobsters whom also naturally form hierarchies as well but pigs make the point so much better I THINK because people tend to think of pigs as greedy creatures And you know people are greedy too like pigs You would know that if you ever read Animal Farm by George Orwell another story which depicts pigs as not being different from men whom are depicted as greedy and corruptible and is generally thought of as a warning against Stalinist Communism. Ok..ok so where is this all heading... One day a big bad wolf. The wolf is a predator of sorts it can't be reasoned with All it wants to do is EAT you The story also indicates the wolf is bad..notice not hungry which would be a more accurate neutral perspective of the materialists in the world whom cannot take a bloody moral stand on anything. No the wolf IS bad its written right into the text of the document. Ok so the wolf demands approaching the first straw house "little pig...little pig let me in!" The pig refuses "not by the hair on my chiny chin chin" as if that would be enough and whose weak house ultimately destroyed The wolf says "I will huff and I will puff and I will blow your house in!" See when bad things happen in life and you DON'T build your moral character on strong enough foundation it will literally destroy you Even if its seemingly EASIER less effort to build your life out of straw..,its a dark lesson which is why these stories are so important to teach to children all these days whom have iphones and expect the world to change how they speak using different gender pronouns just for you. Well if YOU think you can just easily avoid the wolves of this world you got another thing coming bucko! The wolves are out there YES! and they will eat you if THAT is what you are after. The lazy pig whom was lesser in the hierarchy was easily consumed by the predator whom did not give the pig a second of moral consideration and that's rough man But we all know its what is going to happen. The wolf does not care who you are even if you have good intentions its what you build that matters. So naturally the same thing happens to the second pig whom built his house out of sticks. The second pig is like he knows he should not build it out of straw but is not willing to put the real effort in He cuts corners. But the third pig... The third pig built his house out of strong materials The wolf could not get in And that's the brilliance of the third pig because he prepared for the wolves of the world whereas the other just skirted by expecting no problems to come along. He was not going to sacrifice security stability for comfort of the other others whom took the EASY but not the best path

Greg Taillon : okay but the very end of this is hilarious

Ryan Morris : omg crying laughing

Lalalove You : This is killing me 😂 Thank you 🙏

fabian padilla : Kermit the frog reads a bedtime story

bjjtime : oh. my. lord. This is amazing.