The Expert (Short Comedy Sketch)

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Lauris Beinerts : Check out the new episodes of The Expert: Square Project!

Jake Reason : My heart goes out to all the Andersons of the world. Because of your sacrifice, we get to live comfortable lives. Thank you.

Sylvia Else : The expert's salary is the lowest of any in the meeting.

gavsmith1980 : This is how educated people feel when confronted with evolution deniers and flat earthers.

sqrlmonger : I can actually meet all of these requirements as stated. First, all lines will be a projection of 8-dimensional space into 2-dimensions satisfying the perpendicularity requirement (the reason for 8-dimensions and not 7 is stated later). Second, any red line that needs to be drawn with green ink will simply be drawn with green ink and then have a filter applied shifting perception of it to red. Third, any red line that needs to be drawn with "transparent" ink will simply be drawn with invisible ink with some method (heat or lemon juice, etc...) of being made visible for testing/QA purposes. When made visible it would be be red. Fourth, one of the lines will exist entirely in the 2 dimensions the drawing is to be projected on so that it will take the form of a "kitten". Since no part of the requirements indicated that the lines had to be straight we can draw a kitten with a single line in 2-dimensions and since all of the other 6 lines are projections from 6 other dimensions they will be drawn as strictly perpendicular as required. Fifth, in regards to colorblind people the project requirements merely state the objective color required and the ink they require to be used to meet that objective. As such as long as the wavelength of the light coming from these lines is in the 620-750 nm range I will have satisfied the requirements as they are stated. PS - I am a software developer. I deal with these people every day. I stopped fighting it a long time ago. Now I just give them my quote and let them decide if they want to waste their money on stupid crap. PPS - The only part of this I am unsure about is the filter for the green -> red. My green -> red filter expert was out today though, so I just assumed it was possible and I'll let him figure that shit out tomorrow.

undercrackers56 : I am sure I was hired and fired by this company. Hired because I know my sh*t and fired because they didn't.

erinpilla : This happens a lot with us. The people above keep making decisions and they don't even know how to do what needs to be done hahaha and when we explain it to them the limitations and what we can achieve, they go like "it's impossible?". I dunno. This video is disturbing for me and kinda triggered some anxiety attacks

Trent Franklin : I've been in this place. I've seen these things. I've worked with these people. "I'm an expert."

SuperResistant : 99% of blockchain projects

TheEpongeMan : This video actually infuriates me. I did a project for a client and had almost no direction, only a vague idea, i asked them for review of the features, and what they did instead was criticise the look of the UI (colors and placement), telling me i didn't knew how to do my job.

Valicroix : After spending 45 years as an engineer interfacing with marketing, sales and the military, I can attest to the fact that this hits the nail on the head. People ask for ridiculous things while insisting that the cost and time frame for completion remain the same. In the meantime managers only want to hear "yes" regardless of how impossible the requests may be.

James : As soon as that lady figures something out. "That's it now you've confused everyone"

temporarysanity : The lines need to identify as red and perpendicular. They don't actually have to be just as long as they feel like they are. And as for saying that a triangle doesn't have seven lines and isn't perpendicular, well, that's just hate speech and linophobia.

IronSmith : This is what happens when you hire a "businessman" and "managers" to accomplish the production of anything. Just because you can manage people doesn't mean you can produce anthing.

maleyk : "Anderson I understand you are a specialist of a narrow field you don't see the overall picture, but surely it's not difficult to draw seven lines"

TBK : Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

Todd Rainer : And this is what it feels like to be a scheduler for a major oilfield services company. Client: Can we build that product in four weeks. Scheduler (Me, Todd): No, it will take six weeks to procure the materials alone, then we need two weeks for welding, a few days for radiographic testing, at least four for coating and dryi.... Project Manager: Hold on, Todd - I think we CAN do it in Six weeks. Scheduler (Me, Todd): I haven't even talked about engineering, Chad (The PM) (*imagining what PM would look like at in the iron sights of my M-203 from my MP days and exploding when the frag grenade hit*) PM: Don't worry about it, I'm sure engineering can use a legacy design (THEY NEVER DO! NEVER! EVER! EVER!!!) Client: EXCELLENT!!!! Here's a check! (The only thing the PM really cares about as it justifies his existence) Two weeks later: Client: We need to change the product completely but we need it at the same time. PM: OF COURSE! Scheduler (Me, Todd): *Adjusting dates in Primavera ignoring our own policy that's in the contract that says that any changes restarts the clock - Imagining what both the PM and the Client would look like tied up to a chair and being interrogated by myself and Sgt. Armstrong (That's not good cop, bad cop - that's Bad Cop, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY cop - I was the second one with all the knives and dental tools). *(and we had a client do that seven times before they decided on their design..... and still needed it on the same date. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL??)

d m : This might as well have been written by Monty Python

Max Fiedler : wow i just wanted to watch some youtube after coming home but why do i feel like i'm back at work again

TVBalkan : Immediately came to this video again after this (metaphorically speaking): TODAY I HAVE MANAGED TO CONVINCE MY PRODUCT MANAGER THAT RED LINES CAN ONLY BE DRAWN WITH RED MARKER AND THEY CAN'T BE PERPENDICULAR AND PARALLEL AT THE SAME TIME!!! And he approved a budget to buy red markers, not for resupply of charcoal sticks that we had to use. I'm getting myself gloriously drunk on Friday!!!

ArgentOrangeOK : As an engineer, I eventually learned to just agree with them and then did whatever actually needed to be done- knowing they'd never even know the difference.

ChaosNe0 : Something I haven't read in the comments that far: Why not redefining the fancy words the customers THINK they use correctly? If they think lines don't have to be straight, just go with it. Explain it in the requirements documentation, let them sign it and Boom, they fucked themselves. Requirement Engineering, baby!

Daniel Ambrose : The ending was sad to me. if you understand why, upvote this

Kenneth Obikwelu : The project manager had me in tears.... As a developer, this is closer to home than you think. The phrase "IT is here to solve business problems"

Ali Mahdi : It's funny because it's true.

mission liao : After the end, everyone gets promoted, except the Expert.

Psychologie-lernen .de : Sad but true..

Niko Nyrhila : This is pure gold, everybody should watch it at least once a year.

I'm the captain now : Basically they dont know what theyre doing and depend on people that know what theyre doing to just say yes otherwise eveyrone loses their jobs. Too many middlemen nowadays that leech from the worker.

Michael Douglas : I work at a recreational facility. My particular problem along these lines is that every time we have a special event, we are expected to park 200 or more cars in 160 spaces. Can't park them outside the gates on the street (That's private property and We don't own it. Can't park them in the fire lanes. After we fill all the spaces, and then double park in front of the employees, we are forced to do both of those things, of course. For a couple of years we got criticized every event. I finally told my boss that 200 is more than 165 and there's nothing I or anyone else can do to change that. We tried to buy the land outside so we could use that, but the plans actually resulted in FEWER spaces! (They were expanding some ornamental areas and sequestering parts of the existing lot for use by another department.) Wow.

modex20 : i am a developer and this sketch triggers me

Edward Owens : This reminds me of the weekly meetings I used to have with my managers. I'm not invited to them anymore.

eagle Tang : I remember one of my client told me to draw a “elegant and bright black.”

Softwine Market : The Expert's transformation into someone who believes in his own power is more frightening than any transition of a human to a zombie.

AmNeenja : this video is infuriating. 10/10

Do you like my Nickname? I've made you waste 5 sec : This is not comedy, this is corporate life.

Ao Chen : 5:11 perfect solution😂 The answer to idiotic requests from ignorant superiors: use their ignorance to trick them.

Wayne Mitchell : I feel sorry for the poor expert here. It's like he has been locked in a room with a bunch of SJWs on the extreme left. 🤪

0x10 : ez: drawline(rgb(255, 255, 0)); solved it

TheoreticallyDan : how an asian feels in America

Lauris Beinerts : I can do absolutely anything!

Noah McArthur : This is the point where the expert should ask, "Why do you want it this way?" Then the client usually gives an answer that tells the expert what they really want and then he can help them achieve their real goal instead of putting tons of resourses into something the client only thought they wanted. Here's an example, "Why do you want some of the lines to be drawn with green and some with transparent ink?" "Well, because we've found that our customers like things that are green and transparent." "Drawing red lines with green and transparent ink would be really difficult and we would waste a lot of resources trying to achieve such a goal. Might I recommend having all of the red lines drawn with red ink and then add some green lines to be drawn with green ink and some transparent lines to be drawn with transparent ink." "Ok, that sound sounds perfectly reasonable." Asking, "Why," doesn't always work out like this, but when it does it saves a lot of stress and resourses

John A : That's my boss!!! L O L ! ! !

Ajan Annamalai : What I get from this is that we have overcomplicated massively the most smallest of things. Also People who know absolutely shi about subjects get In through gift of the gab

Carl Bailey : I went for an interview at that company, problem was they wanted me to start last Tuesday.

kevbelz : Thank you for these. But, even though they make me laugh out loud uncontrollably, and allow me to show people what my work life is like EVERY day, I still weep when I am done laughing. It's actually quite sad.

Shawn X : Technically you can have seven lines all perpendicular among each other in a 7d dimension

Kalvin One : awesome how did you know that almost all my meetings look like such a waste of time ?? amazing...

MarcusL : You can get 3 perpendicular lines if you draw them on a sphere.

Jombo : This video was frustrating to watch. All too real.