Tenzin Palmo Jetsunma - The difference between Genuine Love and Attachment

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Kenneth Griffey : So I've read all the comments. People are misinterpreting what she is saying. When someone is attached it is far worse. Doesn't mean if we love and things go south in a relationship that we won't feel pain. But it is far less pain than if we are wrapped up with infatuation. But the real message isn't the difference between the two. It is that loving someone in a way that says what can i do to make you happy and disregard my own desires. And if your spouse loves you the same way then it's even more fulfilling. The attachment part does come naturally but when love is the primary action or feeling it is more perfect. Not perfect but more perfect. Attachment in her meaning is like an alcoholic. They cling to it. And when they don't have it can't function like normal. They fall apart. So when you can't have that person you were so attached to, now it's far worse than if love was the primary action. But even still the significant other or spouse should be on the same page. But you also can't control what the other thinks feels or does.

john smith : Being together all day everyday is what causes attachment. When that happens youll become dependant on that person and when you're not with them you wont know how to function without them. Thats why you have to set up a BOUNDARY of giving each other space and independence.

Mrdead Inmypocket : A verbose way of saying "If you love something, set it free".

V C : People are losing their minds with this video cause they are struggling with the thought that they actually don't know how to truly love.

mandy baende : WILL AND JADA WAS TALKING ABOUT THIS. They were saying love is not romantic. It’s a partnership where both individuals who are already fulfilled with happiness coming together ❤️🙏🏽

James Brudnick : I don't know why, well I guess I do, but the plastic water bottle bugs me.

Kayla Rae : this is perfect


Lexa's Subject : We still have so much to learn. Yes, genuine love is not selfish. It is selfless. We need to learn how to love others more than ourselves. It's still conditional love though if we only do this to the person we love romantically. This just doesn't apply to love romantically. Our feelings for someone though can overwhelm us in so many ways. But ultimately, loving someone genuinely is the only way.

Debbie Moran : This is beautifully expressed, thank you <3

AstheticLyfeStyle : She just simplified all the confusion that I’ve had . This video gave me the peace of mind understanding of my feelings that I needed. God bless you.

Motion Blur : A relationship without attachment isn't possible. Every relationship has attachment and the stronger the bounding the more attachment is involved. Evolution does not give a shit about spirituality. If a mother would not be overly caring for her child and wouldn't be attached to it then it would easily die and humankind would not have survived. How can a monk or a nun talk about attachment in relationships if abandoned family life and is supposed to live in castity.

Barbara Padilha : this is amazing omg

Spiritdove : I love when I know they are part of me and when I lose that I also lose that part of me.. not that they do something for me. but because they brightened part of my very being I came to this conclusion myself on my own. I agree with her totally. selfish love is not real love.. just for self gratification it isnt real

Matador : Alan Watts covered this perfectly in the 70's It's regurgitated but she understands and relays the message perfectly.

Nightfury oblivion : Ive been watching this video with no audio and i thought it was an old man so i was imagining an old man's voice in my head. I was wondering why people in the comments are saying "she" or "her"

Bo O : Alot of people say this alot, "What is love?" I say to that. The Bible says, "God is love" so if you wanna see love, know love, feel love, give love, I suggest we seek love. Meaning seek God. When you seek God/Love, you'll be able to see true love, know true love, feel true love, give true love.

John Jones : My one disagreement with Buddhism is its focus on avoiding pain. I may be mistaken and if so please correct me. But like pain, loss, death, etc are inevitable in life... and once you get to understand the dynamic of pleasure and pain you understand that they are both part of the same experience. I like cohen when he says something along the lines of "there's a blaze of light in every word, it doesn't matter which you've heard, the holy or the broken hallelujah"

Dan Cisneros : There was a time not to long ago when I was going through a lot of hurt from a heart break, I stumbled upon this video,and it helped me a lot,thank you for your true and wise words.

Ezydenias : Hilarious, me and a friend of mine just talked about exactly this. How quaint. But yeah we noticed the same thing with the Attachement, it sometimes seems so vile and weird. Sometimes it seems necessary. Maybe there are times when you need to attach to someone, of course someone who is willing to help you or on the other front attach you someone to you which isn't that big of a benefit to you. I think she didn't put out those words in a simple text so we follow them blind, she wants us to think about it. Which I find a nice point. Well okay she could seem like an arrogant snot but I have the feeling she doesn't mean it in that sense. I mean she even says words like Ideally, which means that is not what is going to happen. Also I think she kinda only talks about that one kind of love, not all forms of love, at least in this video.

Bigasstbone : Venerable You don't mention how a person can be attached to someone for their wealth and social status. You love them and want them to be happy but not necessarily when someone is doing it for their own ego.

Ridwan Firdaus : This is beautiful

Manel Icecream : best video ever

Steph H. : its hard for people to love without getting attached. ex: do you truly not love your blanket If u get attached sleeping to it every night? or the idea of thinking about your crush and you can't help but get attached. thats why buddhist believe love is suffering

Pichai Peachy : AMAZING!

blood bath : goosebumps all over!!!!

Mamunur Rashid : Amazing......

Alexander Whitewings : I hav watch this many times and stills don't get it, can attachment & loves happen at the same time? Is there a difference betwee I want to make you happy and I want you to be happy? I love you, I want you to be happy and I want you to make me happy,utimatley both of us will be happy. You wouldnt want to stay in a relationship where only you are making sacrifies for someone but they doesnt make your life better.

Catherine Evangelista : Is she married? Or did she ever felt in love? Why will people listen to someone that is inexperience on what they are advising to people?

MrBena1234 : was wondering if anyone could help me? i have recently developed feelings for my first love from school.. we haven't spoke in over six years and over new years we began talking again. immediately things felt the same as before if not even more intense between us. we both originally agreed to not let these feelings over come us, as the distance and timing was wrong and it wouldn't work. we met up for coffee a week later after talking none stop and i felt the connection was so strong and genuine and i know she felt it too. she says the feelings are still there from when we were younger and always will be and its pretty obvious the way she feels just by the way she looks and talks to me. so i confronted her and told her how i felt and she said she doesn't like me in the same way... i know this isn't true as much as she wants to say it i know her feelings are there. i do believe her when she says she cant like me in the same way though, for however many reason shes keeping between me and her. shes convinced that she cant be with me in that way. obviously that hurt i don't believe their are many people in this world that wouldn't be hurt by that. the problem now is she wants me to stay and be very close friends, almost to carry on like before but to forget the fact i have these feelings. which for me would be very destructive long term when she does find a partner. Or i leave and save myself the pain later but not be able to stay and make her happy. either way this situation hurts for me but if i stay i wont for her. "i want you to be happy, if that includes me, great. if that doesn't include me, i just want your happiness" so if i leave to save myself pain and cause her it does that make me selfish? would you say the Buddhist thing to do is stay and cause my own pain to make her happy? do i even love her or is this just attachment becuase i want her to be happy but this hurts. if she did find a partner yeah it would hurt but i would still be happy for her. is the whole meaning of genuine love vs attachment that if i really loved her i wouldn't feel any of this pain at all? becuase that goes against everything i know..

SimoneGeron : Breathtaking and healing <3

Augusto Ascanio : I've heard bullshit, but this is the winner definitely, I couldn't even watch in full, you can wear different but it doesn't make you to own the true, every one is different, I love the attachment and diversity, no to the cheap physiological manipulation in internet, this monk is just a business.

Ashim Jain : Such subtle differences in the deeper meaning of the terms we take for granted and use everyday -- it is a sheer delight to be able to see them. Thank you for the enlightenment!

Heidi K. : Of course these seducers are friendly, the devil himself masquerades as an angel of light! (see 2. Cor. 11:14) @ all: we are living in the end times, there's only one truth. JESUS CHRIST says: I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the FATHER except through me. John 14:6 You have been warned.

Spiritdove : my only issue is why does she have to make herself look like a man

Mickiii P : No disrespect, but I believe buddhism is the religion of trippin ballz without actual drugs.

chuck norris : There is no such thing as genuine love. Even helping strangers elicits a neurological reward. Attachment is ok, if it is the price you pay for the joys of a romantic relationship.

Lydia Hirzallah : You said this so beautifully. I finally understand why my relationship broke and i feel so sorry for him that he had to go through this. I didn't see my behavior and the way it exhausted him. Glad he is so happy now and feeling 'released'.  He had to free himself from me. I truly loved him sooo much but i loved him the wrong way.  I tried to show him i care and i finally understand how it is to feel hold back. Id wish i could say sorry to him.

michael christian : Exactly what I have been thinking after going through multiple harsh attachment. I think you can't really love someone to the fullest when you feel attached. Attachment is a selfish form of energy, which indicate that you lack of self love. When you are lacking in self love, how can you love the other to the fullest? Still I think, much more easier said than done.

Verena Hilpert : Beautiful. If I have to, I will watch this video every day - to remind me of her wisdom, which sounds so true to me.

Avishay Haviv : Oh come on! You have to truly die as your separate "self" in order to be free of attachments. Now - honestly - How many people are in this state? This is irrelevant for most people in the world! Except for the poly community - they will love this. In the wrong kind of way.

PAVITHRA SRIRAMULU : She is saying that ppl should not think the other person would make fulfill but already feel fulfilled nd appreciate each other but I often listen ppl saying my love fulfills me can anyone explain this

Jesse Tep : Someone once told me love is sacrifice!, and from that moment I came to know every denomination, explain or action all leads to sacrifice now the question is are you willing to do it?

Kirsty Sewell : Spot on

Centrum van Alphen : Bullshit!

Kaneki Katharsis : Loving is tiring when the person you love doesn't give a shit about it. This world is filled with people who know only attachment. No matter how much you love them they fall into depravity and no human being possibly can see his loved one fall into depravity. While the lover becomes more conscious day by day, the person loved becomes more doll-like day by day. In all of this the lover can't take it anymore. Every single mistake hurts like a arrow straight to heart cause the lover knows how much he put into the simplest smallest thing which that person crushed under his feet without giving it a single glance. This torture keeps on going cause love never ends and at one point the lover takes all out on that person. Tells them everything, they did to hurt him. He speaks and speaks and speaks. That person gets overwhelmed but at no point that person feels back love for the lover. It can be sympathy, empathy or anything. But love doesn't comes. After speaking out his heart lover feels far better and smiles and embraces his loved one for next torture cycle. This cycle is gonna repeat till eternity. Only if the loved one gets bored out of all the good his lover was or lover dies, only then this cycle of despair ends. Don't preach love when you never loved anybody yourself.

Indigo Arts : I'm glad I found this, I am currently 19, still young and naive and on my journey of self fulfillment. Sometimes I feel rushed to find someone just to be beside a presence, but I also know that in doing so, I would greatly neglect myself.

Stephen Drougue : I find Tenzin Palmo fascinating. How did just an ordinary person, from a modest background come to have done and achieved so much? I have read the mechanics of the process of course, the early lack of satisfaction (like lots of other people - but had she suppressed that which was in her and settled for less, nothing would have happened), the studying, the rejection, the retreats and time in the cave, and the establishment of her nunnery - from nothing. If ever there is an example of the stars aligning it is Tenzin Palmo, a person who has worked unselfishly to benefit others whilst asking for seemingly nothing at all. Content within herself whilst doing good and achieving much. I quietly watch in awe and with respect at the unfolding story - long may it unfold. It makes me fell better about myself that such a person exists.

Dushyant Rana : I came upon this realization when i was 14.. not because i heard someone. But more like an epiphany.

Sarah R : Love you Jetsunma