Limmy's Show: Dee Dee: Yoker

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billy44551 : this pure mad fable land that sounds like an egg yoak

Simon Kinslow : Thom Yorke in the 90's....

Mad Mario : Full transcription from user "NohStar": Fockin. Heading to the brew, in to get my giro, and I pass these couple of buses at the side of the road. Everyone's piling off the front one into the one behind. Old folk like that "this is ridiculous, never used to be like this with the corporation buses". And I was like that "I see. We've got ourselves a breakdown." Checks to see where they are all heading. Yoker. And I just pissed myself laughing. Harhhr. Cos Yoker's one of those places I only know from the front of a bus. Never been there. Don't know what it's like. Just this pure mad fabled land that sounds like a pure mad egg-yolk. So I was watching everybody getting on, trying to show their tickets to the driver but he wasn't having it. Just waves them on like that "Aye, I know what yees came for. I can see the bus, what do you think I am, daft?" And a wee voice in my head says "Dee Dee, I know you've gotta get your giro, but the brews always gonna be there but this, on the other hand, is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Go for it. So I went like that "Fock it". And I joins the queue. As soon as I do it the driver starts checking peoples tickets. I was like that "Oh here, forget it" but I just got pure caught up in the slipstream, building towards the moment of truth at a hundred mile an hour, heart pounding, pulse racing. "What it is is" "On you go, mate" "Cheers" I did it. So there I was, bird's eye view, whizzing by the brew like that "ta ta giro, maybe some other day agh, cos I'm on a bus, to Yoker." Couldn't believe what I was hearing in my head, man. Seriously. This was actually happening. But then I thought " Hold on. Don't get too excited. There could be somebody looking at the back of your nut right now thinking "Here, who's he? He's not from Yoker. He's got no business being on this bus. Get his head kicked, man" Turned around to see if anybody was looking. Nobody. Got away with it. Just pure got away with the lot of it. So I loosened up and started chatting with folk, get a wee bit of local knowledge before I got there. "So, is this bus for Yoker, aye?" "Aye" "I've just moved there, is it any good?" "Aye, it's a lovely place. I've lived there all my life. Yoker born and bred" "So you've never once wondered what Yoker's like. Mind boggling" Half an hour later I starts seeing the signs: Yoker Newsagents, Yoker Post Office, Yoker F.C. Yoker everything. They even had a barber that rhymed with Yoker: Hair by Les Porter. What are the chances of that? "Here y'are, what's the bets his name used to be Smith or something, and he just changed it to fit in" "What?" Gets to the terminus. Everybody starts piling off. I hits the driver with my charms. "Driver, when do you leave?" "Five minutes" "I conked out and missed my stop. Any chance you could print us out a ticket so I can nip off for a fag? Cheers" And I puts my first step onto Yoker soil. I was in Yoker. I thought this day would never come. Is it really this easy? Is it really this easy to get the things you want in life? You just need to hold out for it? All of a sudden I had thoughts to go "Here y'are. I'm not from Yoker. I've got no business being here" I was like that "Calm it, Dee Dee. That's no laughing matter. They'd tear you to shreds. Now you've got five minutes, where d'ya wanna go? What d'ya wanna do? In Yoker~" I knew exactly what. I had to, I had to find out. I couldn't leave without finding out what this was all about. Bus was a million miles away. I thought "Dee Dee, you truly are in the outer-reaches here, man. Middle of nowhere" And I went into the great-unknown with a focking ding. To ask the one big question on everybody's lips. "Les Porter?" "Aye" "Has your name always rhymed with Yoker or did it used to like be like Smith or something or?" And then I thought " Dee Dee, you just blown your cover. Big time. The fock you playing at, man? Go! Go!" Got out of there before they started chucking their scissors at us like ninja stars. Before big Les scalped us and stocked my head on the wall. 10 seconds to get that bus, man. That's your lifeline. What's it start doing, starts moving. I was like that "No, man" Felt like giving up. "Here, I'm not from Yoker. I've got no business being in Yoker" Let them finish me off like a pack of mad wolves. But I just kept running for my life, like I had Leatherface on my tail. Gets to the bus but he wouldn't let us in. I was like that "Set-up. Whole thing's a set-up" Them that were on that front bus. Actors. Actors, the lot of them, actors. Door opens and I bolts upstairs. Right under the seat. Didnae dare poke my head up fo the next half-hour in case they were behind in a mini-bus, gasping to feast on me like a shower of ned zombie pirates. Picks a moment. Up the road. Up the stairs. In the house. Lock. Lock. Lock. Scary, man. Scary. But the best day of my life

eatlightning : The greatest sketch of all time.

MrKnight007au : Is it really this easy to get the things you want in life?

Caoimhín Ó Caoimh : Trainspotting deleted scene

Kelly14UK : Good bus driver

milowagon : Because of this sketch, my colleague has relocated from the bad lands of Paisley, to the promised land of Yoker. He has not been disappointed.


hvidhajen : I just pissed myself laughing "haaaha"

1989Boozle : Watched this countless times and have just realised, when he steps off the bus he's wearing 2 different shoes

Chris Hewson : The best day of my life. hahaha man I'm still getting used to the accent but holy crap is Limmy's show hilarious

Rey 1119 : If any americans are watching, a 'Giro' is a unemployment check, which Dee Dee gets. He was planning to cash it, and go to the bar.

mandalorion : I lost three years of my life in Yoker.

Stacy Mitchell : "Has your name always rhymed with Yoker? Or did it used to be Smith... or something?" "Ten seconds to get to that bus, man, that’s your lifeline. What does it start doing? Starts moving. I was like that “Naw, man”. Felt like giving up." "Gets to the bus but he wouldn’t let me in. I was like that, set up, whole thing’s a set up." Picked a moment. Down the stairs. Up the road. Up the stairs. In the house. Lock, lock, lock. Scary man. Scary. But the best day in my life.

Maybe : I usually get the train to yoker

Graham Stephen : Actors actors the lot of them ACTORS.

Krieg Papagai : Is it really this easy to get the things you want in life?

Frogwell : I live in a town in the suburbs where all the houses look the fucking same. So one night I went to the pub had a few drinks and it sent me into alcoholic psychosis or whatever. So as I was walking home I got lost an thought I was in some sort of dimension where it was a never ending loop so I panicked. I started thinking I was in the world of “invasion of the body snatchers” and any person could come and kill me on the spot so I started running and running until I finally got out of there. After that night I was so scared and never drank again.

TheAtuocool : Dee Dee is the best character ever. Ever.

Watchdog Goon : "Even had a barber that rhymed with Yoker." Only it didn't, and I laughed even harder

Michael Burns : I love the way she says "Yoker born and bred" So lovely

Zulu Romeo : If they ever made a movie about Dee Dee, this would be it.

DrMcMoist : Dee Dee represents a lot of what I miss about living in Scotland.

MariNate : Couldny believe what a was hearing in ma head

Caoimhín Ó Caoimh : 3:34 I like the fact he has two different shoes on. Nice touch.

Tommy Doyle : Lol wisnie even in yoker it looked like clydebank

sonofwilliamchris : I love the way not one part was actually set in Yoker, even Limmy wasn't that stupid to go wandering round actual Yoker!

lachlanmoir79 : The subtitles on this are incredible.

shgo : thank god he made it back in one piece

SuperDougie89 : Turn on the captions for even mare of a laugh haha

joostay : Aphex at the end there

mrflumps01 : this was wonderful, funny and magical

SpaghettiVEVO : This is what online conspiracy theorists are like in real life

Install a Friend : I hope Dee Dee got his gyro

CheckeeAintAmused : Why is that woman sitting next to him on the bus when there are clearly spare seats available?

Saturn Returns : I mind sitting with limmy after Pressure at the Arches in a pub at the barras. Totally sound and quite quiet, had a good conversation with him.

Ryan Simpson Music : caught up in the slip stream

Jackie Bowie : Top sketch of a lifestyle. Girl on bus was uncannily good as a type. The shot on of the barber  What a Visage! Reminds me of a similar character in front of me in bank. When asked for identity........he offered his bracelet with initials. "that's effin 22ct he said"  lol!    

zigzagjoe69 : Skerry man skerry

Simon Lumsden : The best Limmy sketch EVER

mt2oo8 : Loving the HD! Thanks Brian! 

GlesgaSellik : Favourity Limmy sketch :)

Andrew Donnelly : the barber shop was actually in kelvindale and not yoker lol

Douglas Adam : So many brilliant Limmy characters but Dee Dee is the best. This one, finding bag of clothes, in the kitchen and finnistoun crane. All absolute belters.

Emotion Malfunction : Wait it looks like when he got off the bus it was Clydebank

thewaronterror : Fffucccenn genius.

Jamie Dee : Your feather would be proud...

Henry Steinberg : The name is an Anglicisation of the Scottish Gaelic Eochair meaning a river bank